I Lost My Manual on How to Survive an Apocalypse
by Lotusxdoll
Summary: Rick Grimes thinks he still loves Lori, but is sure he has strong feelings for Shane's wife. Shane loves Lori and his wife, he also envies Rick. Alice Walsh wants to break away from Shane and undeniably wants Rick. Infidelities, feelings, and true colors begin to come to light. RickOC, rated for language, violence, and smut
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own TWD or its characters

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The lush grass tickled his exposed skin as he dropped to the ground with a thud. Blue eyes, ablaze, stared down at him. Anger, hurt, and regret filled them. He was sure he had never seen anything like it. Words were being spoken to him, but they sounded distant as if his ears were filled with water. He could taste the coppery flavor of his own blood as it filled his throat and made breathing difficult. His lungs were beginning to fill with blood and air was becoming more elusive. The man above him kept speaking to him, or was he yelling? It didn't matter, his words still were not clearly heard. He swore he felt something wet hit his cheek. He felt a hand grab his. For a moment, he glanced at the moon. Tonight it was full. Never had he appreciated the simplistic beauty of it. It didn't serve the same purpose as the sun nor get the same recognition. The sun was the giver of life, always outshining the moon. The moon was just a pale light that brighten the night sky and often overshadowed by millions of twinkling stars that people admired more. It reminded him of her. Unappreciated but still giving. He could hear the sobs of someone, someone lingering above him and still holding his hand. He felt himself begin to choke on his blood and lack of air. His body was starting to feel weightless and the pain he was feeling was beginning to diminish. All the sounds around him ceased, leaving him with the crystal clear laughter that he had grown to love over the years. He loved her corn yellow hair that was soft against his calloused hands and her calming blue eyes. He was no longer aware of what was going on around him, all he could see were the memories of his life, the good and bad. He saw her in most. He'd managed to hurt her and he couldn't blame her for how she felt towards him now. He wished he could stay alive a little longer just to tell her how sorry he was. He wanted to see her modest smile again. He had chased the wrong dream and made irreversible mistakes. He had done this to himself and he wanted to tell the crying man above him that he understood why this had to happen. Everything was understood now, and as the last few memories flashed through his mind, he knew the peace he was starting to feel was permanent and he welcomed it.

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A/N: Strange name to pick for a story... But no matter the titles I came up with, I kept coming back to it. This one is rated M because at some point it will get a little saucy *suggestive eyebrow wiggle*. Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own TWD or its characters

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The breeze blew softly, ruffling the dark green leaves of the surrounding trees. Granted this rare moment of solitude, Alice leaned against the parked RV, gently twirling a dandelion between her fingers. She never cared for the flower personally but there was an abundance of them growing near the trees. Alice smiled at the flower fondly, recalling how her sister would refer to the dreadful flowers as little suns. She said it was because of their bright yellow color. It was times like these she wanted to hear her sister's voice or reminisce about their childhood like they used to. The simple things about Jessica had been what Alice missed most. Her unapologetic ways and tasteless humor had once annoyed Alice, but now she would give anything to hear one of Jessica's smartass remarks. Her heart ached, wanting to hug her best friend. She longed to stroke her sister's hair as Jessica rested her head on her lap and talked. She wouldn't even have minded if Jessica would tell Alice how her sex life was going. All she had now were memories and she feared in her heart that she would forget her sister. There were moments when she would swear she forgot her childish laughter and that would scare her more than any walker could.

She missed her parents as well, but not like she missed Jessica. Her parents were never the affectionate type. Their mother never doted. Even on Alice's wedding day she couldn't recall her mother being emotional or beaming with joy. She didn't even help her oldest daughter get ready and give her a pep talk to calm her nerves. Shane's mother had been the one to do that. Alice appreciated it, but it wasn't the same nor how she imagined. Her mother did come at the last minute before Alice walked down the aisle just to say a prayer and tell her to be a good, obedient wife, but that had been it. As for her father, he never paid attention to his girls. He never got the son he wanted and neither girl could fill the void he felt or the resentment towards his wife. Every major event in their young lives he was there for, but he always had a stern look and never even uttered he was proud of them. Even before he had shot himself, he didn't say he was proud. All Alice had was Jessica and they were proud of each other. They loved each other enough to ease the pain of having parents who were emotionally detached and only cared about bible study and church.

Alice brought the flower up to her lips, twirling it against them and letting the silky petals tickle her. She smiled into the flower wondering if Jessica was watching her. Had she seen how Alice had grown? Did she see how she grew a backbone? Jessica would have been so proud, Alice knew it.

She snapped out of her thoughts when she felt a heavy hand weigh down her shoulder. Scared, she dropped her flower as she twisted around. Her hand instantly reached for the pistol resting in the waistband of her tarnished jeans. Alice placed her hand over her heart and let out a relieved sigh when she realized she was in no danger.

"You scared me Rick." She let the pistol handle go and took a step back from Rick. He had been too close for her liking.

If he noticed her move further from him, he didn't bring it to attention. "Sorry 'bout that." He rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand as he let the one on Alice drop to his side. He was dressed in his deputy uniform again. He didn't have much clothes to choose from. Waking up in a hospital during an apocalypse didn't exactly leave him a lot of time to pick out his favorite outfits before going on his search for his family. For a moment the two stood in an awkward silence, neither sure what to say. Rick licked his lips quickly. "Look, I wanna say sorry for what happened at the CDC. I crossed the line."

Alice nodded, but looked down at her fallen flower. "It's alright. Accidents happen I suppose." She dreaded this conversation, but knew it had to happen. The Great Rick Grimes always had to make things right.

Rick felt a searing pain in his chest when she wouldn't look him in the eyes. He wanted Alice to tell him she wouldn't accept his apology because she wanted him the way he wanted her. Rick knew he was asking too much of her, but that didn't ease his desire to hear those words. He knew realistically they couldn't be together. Things were tense with Lori, but he still loved her. The touches and kisses they shared felt hollow and had been for some time, but Alice's touch set his skin on fire. Her kiss made his lips tingle in a pleasurable way. What he wanted to feel with Lori he instead had felt with Alice. Then there was Shane who was his best friend. He had protected his family when Rick couldn't. Rick had felt guilty in the way he repaid Shane for his kindness. He had kissed his wife, realized he had feelings for her, and was lusting after her while they all rode in the same RV. Alice made him feel at ease and he knew he could always talk to her. He cared about her deeply and liked her as more than just a friend. The small moment of deep affection they had shared relit a fire that had dimmed in him years ago, but that wasn't enough to fuck everything up just to be with her. He hadn't been able to get her out of his head and it wasn't just because she wasn't speaking to him. Rick had felt a connection that went beyond anything he had felt with Lori for the past few years, but he still loved his wife. They had years of memories and a son they shared. They had built a home together before the apocalypse. He couldn't forget all of that because of a kiss.

"I just uh… Well I guess that's all I wanted to say."

"Ok." Alice still refused to meet his gaze.

"You alright?" he wanted to talk to her. It didn't matter what it was about, he just wanted to hear her voice.

"Yeah." She answered. "Just thinking."

"About what?"

"Stuff."

Rick swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. "I don't want things to change between us Alice. Things are gonna get tougher, I feel it. I just… I need you to support me." He needed his friend if he couldn't have her as anything more.

Her eyes snapped up at him. She inexplicably felt a wave of anger towards him. Alice's lips tightened and for a moment, she just looked into his eyes. The same eyes that brought her a sense of calm were now setting her insides on fire in rage. "Support you." Alice nodded her head slowly. All he wanted was support. All she was good for was to have his back. "Yeah. I'll support you." All the anger she had held inside, all the things she wanted to say, she pushed back down the best she could. Now wasn't the time to say what she wanted. When the right time was, she didn't know.

She hastily turned on her heels and walked away, crushing the forgotten dandelion under her feet. Rick watched her leave, unsure of what had just happened. Was she still angry with him? Had he done something wrong again and didn't realize it? He ran his hand down his scruffy face. Cupping his mouth, he let out a frustrated sigh. Things were starting to make less sense and he wasn't sure how to grasp what was going on. Women just confused him.

Rick looked over his shoulder and saw Lori talking to Carl. She must have felt his eyes on her, because she turned around and smiled He wanted to believe it was a smile to reassure him that things would work out, but he couldn't ignore the doubt hidden in it. The whole ride from the CDC had been a quiet one for him and Lori. She barely spoke to him. When she did, she kept it short. Lori hadn't brought up what he told Dr. Jenner about his doubts, but he knew she was thinking about it. The distance was growing between them and it was one that he couldn't stop. Long ago were the days when he could just enjoy being with her, feeling carefree and laughing. They rarely laughed together anymore. Rick had a nagging feeling that had it not been for their son, Lori would have left him a long time ago. But she stayed. It wasn't because she loved him and wanted things to work, that much he knew. They often spoke of starting fresh in their marriage and yet it never happened. They would kiss and make up but he could still see the resentment and doubt in her eyes. She didn't want Carl to witness his parents' marriage ending. They shared the same want to keep their son happy. If that meant the illusion that they were content with one another, so be it. But Rick wasn't sure how much longer he could go with the charade. It wore him down knowing Lori would probably never look at him with love and admiration like she used to. He worked so hard for years to keep this woman content, but sometimes he felt like she was determined to be unhappy with him.

Alice didn't make it any easier on him. Rick felt so conflicted over the blonde and there was nothing he could do. He wanted her, he longed to taste her lips again. He had found his mind drifting with thoughts of how it would be to have her ever since the CDC. Would she softly call his name as he pleasured her? Would she cling to him as she did in the few fantasies he had with her as the star? The desires he had for his friend would always end with a feeling of guilt. That was his best friend's wife. He could have easily justified his thoughts by telling himself that she clearly was unhappy with Shane, but he was still his brother. Unhappy or not, could he really betray both Lori and Shane? Rick had no idea how strong or deep his feelings for Alice ran, but it didn't matter. She didn't even seem interested in even having a friendly conversation with him.

Lori and Alice's relationship had been another topic all together for the deputy. In his short time since being reunited with his family, he had failed to notice the two women keeping a distance between themselves. It had come to his attention during their two-day drive from the CDC. He wasn't sure, but he thought he saw Lori give Alice an apologetic look a few times. What had transpired between the two women was a mystery to him but he knew something had happened during his time away. They had been close friends since he and Lori began dating. It wasn't unusual for the two women to chatter endlessly over things he couldn't understand. Women things he supposed. Now they were tense around each other, neither really knowing how to act or what to say. Rick had felt guilty for not noticing sooner. He had been so consumed with his own problems and fears that he failed to notice Alice had her own issues. She was avoiding Shane for some reason and she and Lori weren't really speaking. She'd watched her father kill himself and seen her sister and mother dead. Alice must have felt disappointed in him for not being there the way she was there for him. Rick couldn't blame her for wanting to get away from him. He felt her anger with him went beyond the kiss. He depended so much on her and though he tried to offer her the same thing, he failed. She told him it would be alright so many times in the past when he needed to hear it. Why hadn't he told her that when she was in need of those words?

Something was up with Lori. Rick didn't know what it was, but she was always so tense when Shane came around. He would notice how stiff she'd become around Shane and that panicked look in her eyes when she saw the two men alone. She was hiding something and he had a feeling he knew what it was. He didn't want to believe his best friend crossed that line with his wife. Then again he had crossed a similar line with Alice. Rick wanted to shove the thought out of his mind because that meant admitting the two people that meant so much to him had betrayed him. Lori thought he was dead, she had the right to do whatever she wanted, but it didn't soften the blow. It was still Shane, his brother and best friend. Neither admitted anything, but the way they acted said more than words. Rick shook his head, he wouldn't believe it until he could back it up with proof. Maybe his mind was playing tricks on him. Not Lori and Shane. Though it would have explained why Alice wasn't talking to Lori and kept away from Shane. No, he wouldn't let himself believe it. Something else had to be wrong.

Pulling out the walkie talkie that had been clipped to his belt, Rick turned it on. All he heard was silence. Since leaving Morgan and his son behind, not once did he get a message from them. He had hope that they were still alive and doing as well as circumstances would allow. He quickly turned it off, realizing he wanted to do update them in private. Rick knew he may have been only talking to himself when he updated Morgan. Rick knew he might not even been alive anymore, it was a high possibility. Knowing all these things were possible did not stop Rick from updating Morgan. His words could have been falling upon deaf ears, but it kept him sane. It was like his diary in a sense because there was no judgment on the other side when he spoke. No blank looks or false understanding. The weight on his shoulders had been heavy and every time he spoke on the walkie talkie, he felt light. He could say it was bad out here, he could say that there were problems he couldn't solve. Rick couldn't do that so freely with his group because they depended on him to be hopeful and bring them out of every situation alive. He felt at times that he couldn't do it and wondered why he had been given the burden. He always had to be a step ahead and on top of every problem. It was taxing. He couldn't show the fear he had inside, he couldn't expression how much he doubted they would make it. Rick had to lie to them about what he felt so he could believe it too.

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A/N: Yay! I'm so proud of myself for getting so much done in one day! I'd like to think I'm making up for taking so long to update. I hope you enjoyed it!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own TWD or its characters

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Andrea sat across from Shane watching with interest as he took his gun apart to clean. It was unusual for him to ride in the RV since he had his own car, but he and Rick thought it was best to lighten their load and stay as close together as possible. She had seen the glare Lori shot Shane as he gathered his things from his car. It had been obvious to those who had their suspicions about their relationship that something had gone wrong. Now that Rick was back, Lori avoided Shane like the plague and when she was forced to be near him, she had nothing nice to say. Andrea felt bad for Rick because she was sure he had no idea what had happened while he was gone. He was a good man, but even they have their limits. Andrea hadn't been too fond of Shane when they first met. She was disgusted by how he crept around with Lori but had a wife that would silently watch what was going on. Something had changed though and she wasn't sure what. She found Shane intriguing all of a sudden. He didn't always ask how she was feeling or baby her. They had all been so worried of reminding her of Amy that no one treated her the same. No one expect Shane.

Shane looked up at the blonde and noticed her staring. He smirked at her as he put his gun back together and placed it down on the table. It didn't go past his attention that she had been spending more time around him, looking for reasons to talk. He had no idea why she was suddenly giving him attention, but he welcomed it. Anything was better than the cold shoulder he received from Lori and Alice.

"I can clean your gun for you if you'd like." He offered, still smirking.

Andrea pulled her gun out and slid it across the table. "I would like to learn how to do it myself."

"Well," he began to take it apart, laying each piece neatly on the table. "it would be beneficial to you if you did and I don't mind teaching a lady how to care for her gun."

For a moment their eyes connected. Before she knew what she was doing, Andrea had flashed him a flirtatious smile. Shane felt his ego swell. He still had it in him to charm a woman. That Walsh charm he liked to call it.

Dale drove cautiously down the highway, trying hard not to crash into another car. The further down they went, the tighter the road became. He felt a wave of sorrow hit him in the chest when he saw cars turned over, doors haphazardly left open, and dead bodies still strapped in their vehicles. Other than their group, there were no signs of life. What happened to these people? Did most manage to make it out alive? He knew in his mind that many of them hadn't.

Alice sat beside him on the passenger side. It had become her unofficial assigned seat. She liked sitting in the front with Dale. She enjoyed their small talk and the stories he'd tell her. In 64 years of life, Dale had seen a lot of interesting things worth sharing. Sitting up front was also a great way to stay away from Shane.

Her head bowed and eyes shut tightly. Dale knew she was praying for the lost souls. It comforted the man to see her pray. It eased his soul to know that even though the world was shit, there were people out there that still believed in God's goodness. He glanced at the silver wristwatch he always wore. Time had no meaning anymore, but it brought a sense of normalcy for him. Everyone had a habit that made things feel normal as it could get and praying was Alice's.

The RV began to screech and started to slow down. The front was releasing smoke. At that moment Dale wanted to smack his head against the steering wheel. Daryl, who had ditched his truck for his brother's motorcycle, looked over his shoulder and noticed the problem. He drove ahead to stop Rick's car. Personally, Alice liked Daryl on motorcycle. He looked like a badass.

"I said it, didn't I say it? I said it a thousand times, that hose was dead in the water." Dale complained as he stepped out of the RV. Rick looked around, unsure of what to do.

"Problem Dale?" Shane asked as everyone filed out of the RV.

"Oh, just a simple matter of being stuck in the middle of nowhere…" his words drifted for a moment as everyone watched Daryl begin to dig into the back of an abandoned SUV. "Ok. That was dumb."

"We ain't gonna find a radiator hoes, but we can find a shit load of other stuff." Daryl began pulling clothes out. Lori shifted uncomfortably, crossing her arms under her chest. She started shaking her head, frowning. "We can probably find some supplies here."

"We could get some gasoline for the cars too." T-dog added.

"Maybe some water?" Carol softly spoke, her thin arms wrapped around Sophia's shoulders.

"Food?" Glenn added.

"I don't like this." Lori's lips tightened for a moment. "This is a grave yard."

"They don't need this shit anymore." Daryl stated, his brows knitting together. "We can put it to use."

"I don't know how I feel about this. It's not right." Everyone looked a Lori for a moment, but quickly hurried off to look for supplies. They knew she was right, the highway was a grave yard, but the supplies were needed. Besides, if they didn't take the things they needed, where would they get it from?

"Just look around, gather up what you can." Rick called out to everyone. He too felt uncomfortable rummaging through dead people things, but this was survival mode and they were dangerously low on supplies. This was necessary and having a conscience about it wasn't going to prevent hunger and dehydration from kicking in.

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Alice climbed halfway into the open window of an abandoned car, her rear end sticking out. She started to dig through the pile of clothes that were thrown about in the backseat. It was obvious these people were in a rush when packing. She pulled a red tank top from the pile and noticed a black book with gold embroidery fall onto the vehicle floor. Her brows furrowed in curiosity as she placed the shirt down and picked up the book. Alice pulled it from the car and stood erect, her delicate fingers opening it. Her eyes started to water. The first page had been beautifully decorated with glitter, stickers, and pictures of a baby girl. Alice felt her heart drop when she looked back at the car and realized this was a family and they were probably dead now. If there was one thing she knew, most mothers valued their photo albums and would take that before any other belonging. She wanted to turn the page, but couldn't bring herself to do it. It felt like an invasion on these strangers' lives. Viewing their precious moments, photos chronologically placed on every page, just felt wrong. She gingerly placed the book on the empty front seat. The owners would probably never see it again and it held no value to anyone, but she still felt obligated to treat it with respect. Alice let out a deep sigh before moving on to another car. This was what life had become. Rummaging through others personal belongings and finding relics of the not so distant past. Alice wondered if things would ever go back to normal, but after all that had happened, what would be considered normal? She knew that she personally could never go back to the life of Nurse Walsh. She had put walkers down, she witnessed the ugliness of man, she'd lost love ones. Being Nurse Walsh after all of that just seemed impossible. Becoming that naive woman again was unacceptable.

Shane watched his wife as she struggled to haul a huge suitcase from the trunk of a car. She had managed to do it alone. As she rummaged through it, picking out clothes, he realized she did a lot without anyone's help. She had gone to the department store and held her own. She had gotten through the trauma of her first walker attack back at their old camp. Alice had even survived the CDC building blowing up. Through it all, she was alone emotionally. He felt a wave of guilt hit him. Not once had he asked her how she was feeling. He had been so wrapped up in Lori, trying to build something that could never be. Of course she avoided him, he abandoned her emotionally when she had needed him the most.

Through the chaos of packing, she had managed to grab his '22' chain. Something so insignificant at that moment, but she remembered it. The necklace meant so much to him. It had been the number on his jersey back in his football years. Back when all he had to worry about was winning the game and screwing a cheerleader after. Shane recalled that Alice had gone to a few of his games with Lori and Rick. She didn't catch his eyes and he barely remembered her name. He knew it began with an 'A' or was it a 'K'? All Shane knew for a fact was that she was a friend of Rick and didn't say much without her voice trembling. She dressed different too. She never showed much skin, always decked out in jeans or long skirts with long sleeve shirts. They lived in the south and it was strange to see a girl dressed like that when it was sweltering all the time. After high school he didn't give Alice a second thought and honestly forgot about her. It wasn't until a few years passed that things had changed.

Shane could still remember that day as if it had taken place a few hours ago. The heat had been ridiculous that day. He recalled calling Rick that morning. Shane had joked about how he could cook his breakfast on the sidewalk to avoid dishes. It had been his day off, but he was in need of some food. Being a bachelor, he had a bad habit of waiting until he was down to one egg and a slice of bread to shop.

The cool air felt amazing against his heated skin as he stepped past the automatic doors of the supermarket. It wasn't crowded and the employees, mostly teenagers working during their summer break, looked beyond bored. He grabbed a yellow basket and began walking to the produce aisle. A woman with blonde hair pulled into a sloppy bun stood over the peaches, holding one in each hand. She was frowning as she compared them both. Her skin was dewy and she was lacking the soft curves he usually sought in a woman. Her rack was all right, but her hips were perfect to push out some kids. The woman's face was softly rounded and her nose perfectly straight. Her lips had a slight pout, but was nothing amazing. She was nothing astonishing on the eyes, just pretty. Shane smirked, pushing his hair back before strolling over to her. She would be an easy one to get into his bed tonight.

"The one in your left hand is good." He smoothly spoke.

The woman jumped slightly before turning to him. "Oh um thank you."

"No problem. I can help you if you need it with any other fruit. I'm pretty good at spotting the sweet ones." His voice dripped with charm. He held his large hand out. "I'm sorry, I'm so rude. My name is-"

"Shane." She timidly interrupted, taking a step back from his extended hand.

His hand dropped to his side. Shane's eyes were wide with unspoken surprise. Had he already slept with her and forgot? He was sure he'd remember her. She looked like a wild one in the sack behind that shy demeanor she held. "Yeah. I'm sorry, your name must have slipped my mind." She mumbled something, staring at some gum that had been stuck to the floor for who knows how long. "Could you repeat that?"

"I said my name is Alice, but you probably wouldn't remember me."

"Now why wouldn't I remember a sweet little face like yours?"

"We went to high school together. I know Rick and Lori. I was at their wedding." The timid nature of her voice didn't escape his notice.

He leaned his body back a little. Shane eyed her as if wondering if she had been telling the truth. "I didn't see you there."

"I was right next to Rick when you joked about him getting married was a bad idea because Lori would have him on a leash. You said he'd die a little bit on the inside every day."

Shane laughed lightly, remembering he had said that. "I'm sorry. Let's start over ok?"

"Ok." She shyly replied. Shane held out his hand again and this time she gingerly took it. He held it longer than he needed to.

"I'm Shane Walsh and I'd like to take you out to dinner."

Her face flushed, but her china blue eyes sparkled. "I… I'm Alice Miller and I'd like that."

Shane would never forget that day because it was the day everything changed for him. He had taken her to dinner that night with the intentions of sleeping with her, but as they talked, he forgot his original motive. She wasn't like the other girls he had been with, she had interesting things to say. For the first few years being together, he didn't even notice other women. Alice was shy and timid but when she opened up, she was amazing. He missed the laughter they shared and the intimate conversations they'd stay up late at night to have. He had messed that up though and he acknowledged it. He cheated and lied too much for her to feel the same way. He knew she loved him, but every time one of his affairs would get back to her, he would feel her add another brick to her wall, shutting him out again. He had caused the damage and added to the insecurities she felt, but she always stayed close to him. Alice always wanted to please him and win his favor back.

That was the old Alice. This Alice didn't try to win his love and affection. She hardly spoke to him and had he not been so wrapped up in Lori, he probably could have salvaged what remained of their marriage. He feared that she was gone forever now.

Lori and Alice, he had neither now. He loved them both, but they didn't love him the same. He needed to go. He couldn't stand looking at them any longer knowing his feelings weren't being returned. He knew he was selfish, but he couldn't help how he felt for wanting them both. Hell, he'd be happy if just one returned his affection. But it wasn't looking like that would happen, and he needed to escape while he still had his dignity.

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A/N: I thought it would be nice to stroll down memory lane with Shane for a while. I personally don't think Shane's a bad guy. In a lot of TWD fanfics I've read, he's made out to be some bat shit crazy, heartless psycho, but I don't think that's the case. I agree he lost his marbles, but for the sake of my story I'm not going to make him any crazier than he's made himself seem.

**_On a side note, please check out my Daryl Dixon one shot. It's pretty saucy and was written some time ago, but I'd love it if you guys read it._ **


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own TWD

Thanks to everyone who reviewed (personal thanks at the end to you guys), followed this story and added it to their favorites. I didn't expect so many people to like it out of the gate, but I'm not complaining =)

I've been sick this week, so I've had time to catch up on my fanfic reading and two people you MUST check out are x XRoweenaJAugustineX x and Nelle07. They're both great writers and if you like Game of Thrones (especially Jon Snow and Robb) or Inception, their stories are must reads.

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Dale stood on top of the RV, staring down at the road behind them through his binoculars. He lowered them for a moment and wiped the sweat that had gathered at the bridge of his nose. Rick had been standing on the pavement beside the RV. He stopped peering through the scope of his aimed rifle and looked up to the older man.

"Everything alright up there?" Rick asked, sweeping the back of his hand against his damp forehead.

"Yeah. Everything's alright." Dale replied before bringing his binoculars back to his eyes. He had a lot of things on his mind and Andrea was one of them. She had barely spoken to him since leaving the CDC. He had seen her through the rearview mirror sitting with Shane and flashing him flirtatious smiles. Dale had been around long enough to recognize one when he saw it. He was worried she would cling to Shane. She was mourning over Amy the wrong way, but after getting her to leave the CDC, he was sure she didn't want to hear his advice on anything. Shane wasn't someone she needed to be around. He was dangerous and Dale knew it because he witnessed it.

He had a special fondness for Andrea, he wanted to protect her. Having no children of his own, he was instantly drawn to Andrea and her sister. The two girls gave him something to care and worry about at his old age. They were what he had imagined his daughters would be like if he had children. There was no way for Dale to express how much he cared for Andrea. All he had been trying to do at the CDC was help her. Andrea's anger and resentment wouldn't allow her to see that was all Dale had been trying to do that day. He wasn't trying to control her or guilt her into living. He just wanted her to see there was life after Amy, but no matter what he said, she refused to see what he did as anything but bad. Now she was in the RV alone doing God knows what and avoiding him. She hardly spoke to anyone but Shane now.

Dale shook the thought from his head and focused on keeping watch with Rick. For a moment, he thought his old eyes had deceived him when he spotted a walker staggering in their direction. He glanced down at Rick and knew he had seen right when he heard the safety come off his gun. Dale looked again, but this time he saw two. No five. He felt his heart begin to beat rapidly. There was a large number of geeks heading their way. He silently cursed to himself as he dropped down as quietly as he could on the RV roof and laid still.

Alice had been sorting through a basic first aid kit, trying to find more than just bandages and alcohol pads. It was strange that she couldn't find pills such as painkillers or even a basic aspirin. Without warning, she felt a hand slap over her mouth. She dropped the kit and grabbed onto the hand on her mouth. She tried to scream, but it came out muffled.

"Shut up, it's me!" A voice hissed in her ear. "Be quiet or I'll give your bony ass to them walkers as a snack pack." Her eyes wondered down the highway. They grew wide in fear when she spotted a large group of them heading their way. The large hand moved from her mouth.

"Thank you Daryl." She whispered.

"Don't thank me. Get your ass under a car before they see us." He ordered as he dropped to his knees and crawled under the vehicle.

"Right… Right." She spotted T-dog up ahead looking for a hiding spot. She was tempted to call out to him, but knew it would draw attention. Alice got down and crawled under the car Daryl had hid under.

Daryl looked at her, rolling his eyes. He meant for her to find her own car, but he was lucky enough to be sharing with Walsh. His crossbow laid under his body, digging into his chest, but it was ready for action if needed. He could hear Alice's heavy breathing and feel her trembling beside him. He looked at her and placed his index finger against his lips. She nodded and covered her mouth.

Alice felt her breath get caught in her throat when she saw the feet of walkers heading in their direction. She tried to control her breathing, but it was becoming shorter and quicker. The walkers were a few feet from them and she could smell their putrid odor as a few passed. The Atlanta heat had caused their bodies decomposition to happen more rapidly. Alice heard a grunt and looked to the other side of the car. T-dog was still trying to find a safe spot, but this time his arm was gushing blood. Daryl's nostrils flared as if annoyed T-dog managed to get injured. He looked at Alice sternly.

'Don't even think about moving' he mouthed to her before taking a deep breath and rolling from under the car and towards T-dog. Daryl was a good man no matter what he tried to make others believe. He may not have been the nicest, but Alice appreciated him for more than hunting and saving her life twice. She appreciated him as a human being and man.

Alice slowly reached for her gun, trying her hardest not to make a sound, but as she pulled it from the back of her jeans and up to her front, she had scraped the metal against the ground. She gasped and held the gun tightly as a walker stopped walking for a moment. It began to drag its feet towards her. When it reached the car she hid under, she closed her eyes tightly and said a quick prayer. She was too scared to even exhale. The low moan she heard forced her eyes to fly open. The feet were still there, its shoe soles worn out and looked like they would fall apart at any moment.

A wave of relief hit her when the walker began to stagger away. She had been lucky and she knew it. Had the walker found her, she would have been in serious trouble. Alice couldn't afford to fire her gun.

As the last few walkers past, everyone stayed in their hiding spots for a few extra minutes. Alice's forehead rested against the pavement as she tried to catch her breath. She made it. From her hiding spot, she could see Daryl and T-dog. They both were out in the open but had dead bodies thrown over them. It was a clever plan because it threw off the walkers from their scent. Daryl was also a lot smarter than he gave himself credit for.

Just as Alice was about to roll from under her car, she heard the scream of a child. Her mind began to race. Was it Carl? Should she help? Why was she even thinking about this when she should have been acting instead?

She rolled from under the car just in time to see Sophia running into the woods, two walkers behind her. Rick was running between cars trying to catch up with them. She could see the panicked yet determined look on his face.

Carol crawled from under a van with Lori and began to cry. She ran towards the woods, her arms wrapped around herself. By then everyone had crawled from their hiding spots to see what happened. What greeted them was the pitiful and heart breaking site of Carl crying and holding herself tightly.

"My baby! Two walkers are after my baby!" Lori grabbed her as she began to run after Sophia. Lori tried to shush her, but Carol just cried harder as her knees began to give out. Her little girl was missing and walkers were after her. Why couldn't she have stayed under the car just a little longer?

"Rick's gone after her, she'll be alright." Alice tried to assure, placing a comforting hand on the older woman's shoulder. "He'll get her." She truthfully had no idea if Rick really would. She didn't know if Sophia would get bitten or not, but she did know Carol didn't need to hear doubts. Everyone looked unsure of what to say, everyone's heart breaking with her cries of Sophia's name.

Shane cleared his throat uncomfortably as he took a few steps forward. "Um… Let's just keep looking for supplies till Rick gets back. Everyone stick close." He glanced at everyone before walking off. No one questioned him. It had pretty much been established that he assumed the position as leader when Rick was gone. It didn't sit well with Shane from time to time considering he was the original unspoken leader. But that was taken from him like everything else when Rick returned.

* * *

"There you go. It's the best I can do for you." Alice explained as she finished bandaging T-dog's forearm. The cut was deep and needed to be stitched, but they had to make do with what they had. His arm was shaking slightly and she could see the blood begin to seep through the bandage. "I'm gonna need to change that for you every few hours, you hear?" He was bleeding heavy and wasn't looking too good.

T-dog gave a weak nod. "Yeah. Thanks." He felt nauseous.

"I wish there was more I could do." Her voice was low, almost too low for him to hear.

"It's cool. You did what you could."

Alice gave a short nod before standing up from the cot in the RV. As she passed the table, she didn't miss the look Andrea gave her. She hadn't been able to decipher the look, but something about it didn't sit well with Alice.

Alice liked to believe she and Andrea were on good terms. She wouldn't go as far as to say the women were friends, but definitely associates. After the events at the CDC, Alice couldn't be sure what to call them. Andrea brushed her off every time she tried to start a conversation, and Alice most definitely noticed the way she began looking at Shane. She hated the feeling she was getting when around Andrea now. It wasn't fear or pity. It was dislike. Something in Alice was beginning to dislike Andrea and it had a lot to do with her treatment of Dale, the kind old man that told her many stories. It also was due to her recent bratty antics over the smallest things. Alice knew Andrea couldn't stand that Alice got to keep her gun but she didn't. Maybe that was when the ill feelings from Andrea began.

Unlike Andrea, Alice understood the reasoning behind a majority of the group not having a gun. Rick and Shane had to keep theirs for obvious reasons and Dale being the oldest and most trusted got to keep his. The reason for Alice getting to keep hers was she was a straight shooter, Shane made sure of that years ago. Letting her keep her gun was for extra protection and those moments the men couldn't be around. It made sense to everyone but Andrea,

"Rick's back!" she heard Glenn yell from outside.

* * *

"I found her, but the walkers were too close. I told her to hide and I'd go back to get her." Rick explained, wiping his forehead of sweat. His pants were wet and shirt damp. "I need some help, just in case." Everyone nodded. Carol cried even harder.

"You know I'll help brother." Shane assured.

"Me too." T-dog started to walk forward, but felt a small hand press against his stomach.

"It ain't wise for you to be running 'round the wood's. You should stay." Alice advised. T-dog wanted to go, he didn't want to feel useless. But he was at that moment and he knew it. Him passing out wouldn't be much help.

"She's right T-dog. You stay behind and focus on healing up." Rick looked at Alice. He felt his stomach tighten when she looked away. She was still mad at him. "Daryl, I was wondering if you'd come. You know the wood's better than anyone here." Daryl nodded in agreement. "So it's settled-"

"I want to help." Alice cut in. She was toying with her fingers in front of her stomach.

"I don't think that's a good idea-"

"I want to help find her Shane. How is that not a good idea?" Her voice was strong, no signs of shakiness or uncertainty in her tone.

His lips tightened for a moment before speaking. "I think you'd be safer here."

"The more eyes the better. I know how to fire a gun, you know that."

"We're wastin' time." Daryl interrupted, annoyed. "Just let her go, it'll shut her the hell up." A part of him really didn't want to admit it, but he was more than sure she could hold her own. She was alright with him.

Alice frowned at Daryl, but began to walk forward. Shane roughly rubbed his face with his hands. Saying he was agitated would have been putting it nicely.

"Guess I'll go. It's the manly thing to do, right?" Glenn asked no one in particular.

"You just gonna let her tag along Rick?" Andrea looked at Rick then to Shane, her eyes lingering on him. Dale stood silent, but he had seen the look.

"We don't have time to argue." He spoke before walking towards the woods. He wanted her to stay behind too, but he also didn't want her to be anymore mad at him. He was sure she'd be fine she wasn't going to be alone.

"I can't believe this shit." Shane mumbled as he followed behind his wife into the woods. He wanted to keep her safe and she was going to throw herself into the middle of danger.

* * *

A/N: I appreciate every review and I try to personally say thanks, but sometimes life get's too hectic and I don't get to until weeks later. Soooo I figured I'd try this way.

**JDMlvr1, Dean's Dirty Little Secert, Savannah's Angels, bluecrush611, DayDreamingInTheAir**: Thank you guys! I'm so glad you all liked the start to this =) It means a lot that you guys like this story because I thought it would take a while before anyone enjoyed it.

**deelove1**: I want to and I've been toying with the idea, but I'm not sure how it would fit in with the flow of the story. If you have suggestions, I'd love to hear them =)

**x XRoweenaJAugustineX x**: Thank you so much. You have no idea how much your review mad my day. For a while I wasn't sure if what I was trying to do was translating well, but wow... That's how I felt when I read your review. WOW! It's a great compliment coming from an awesome writer. Which reminds me, WHY MUST YOU TORTURE ME? I'm in love with your Jon Snow story and I just finished it. I was so sad because you haven't updated and I want to know what happens so bad!

**Leyshla Gisel**: I always love that you have great feed back =) Thank yoooou!

**Nelle07**: I love trying to make Alice more... Tougher I guess would be the word. And you! I started reading your Inception story and just finished today. You haven't updated and I MUST know what happens!

-Hale: Thank you so much and I never did thank you for reading my work. I appreciate you reading my stories so much, you have no idea!


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own TWD

* * *

Rick watched Alice and Glenn walk ahead of the rest of the group and towards the highway. They hadn't been able to find Sophia where he left her and it brought about a disappointment he'd never felt. He couldn't find the little girl. He told her to stay, he told her she was safe, but she didn't listen. Was he so bad at keeping the group safe that even a little girl knew she was better off trying her hand than waiting for Rick? Had he let yet another person down? Everyone that had gone looking for the girl were tired and their clothes damp from searching the creek.

Alice let her head roll from side to side, trying to gain relief from the knot in her neck. Her back was aching dully from being hunched over so long in the creek and her clothes clung uncomfortably to her frame. She had prayed they would find Sophia, but the little girl was nowhere in sight. She couldn't help but wonder why Sophia had left instead of waiting like Rick asked.

"Are you sure she understood what you were asking of her?" Shane asked lowly, not wanting the others to hear their conversation.

"She understood me fine." Rick snapped. He was already in a bad mood and didn't feel like being questioned.

Shane frowned, but nodded his head. "We're gonna find her. She's gonna be tuckered out hiding in the bush somewhere."

Rick nodded his head silently. He wanted to believe Shane was right, but he couldn't shake the nagging feeling that was telling him otherwise. He had given her specific directions and for some reason she hadn't follow them. Had there been more walkers he hadn't seen? It was a simple task and yet it hadn't gone right. His head was buzzing with thoughts he couldn't silence. The weight of everyone's dependency was starting to become too much. He wanted to make things right so badly.

He ran his hand through his hair, tugging at the roots in frustration. He was tired, but he couldn't call it quits just yet.

"Daryl." He called, his voice hinting at the exhaustion he was starting to feel. "I want to keep looking. Do you mind coming with me since you know these woods?"

Daryl eyed Rick for a moment, but nodded his head. At first he had be weary of Rick, especially after he had left his last kin handcuffed to a roof. But Rick had proven himself. The redneck sort of felt bad for the former Sheriff. He was the leader of this group and it was a job Daryl definitely didn't want.

"You're gonna keep looking brother?" Shane asked, eyeing Daryl up and down for a moment.

"Yeah. She couldn't have gotten far. Make sure they get back to the highway." He nodded his head in the direction of Glenn and Alice.

"You know I will."

Glenn and Alice stopped walking, realizing the others weren't following them. Alice wiped the sweat off her forehead, hating how hot it was.

"What's wrong?" she asked, letting her tongue dart across her dry lips.

"We're gonna keep looking. Shane's gonna go back with you two." Rick answered. Alice opened her mouth to speak, but Rick held his hand up. "You guys are tired. You need to go back to the highway and rest up. You're no good to us if you pass out."

"I'm not gonna argue against that." Glenn spoke. He took his hat off and began fanning himself with it. "It's hotter than holy hell out here."

* * *

"I'm so sorry Carol." Alice whispered while the woman cried into the curve of her neck. She felt the warm tears against her bare skin. There was so much she wanted to say, but nothing seemed like it would be good enough. Carol had lost her daughter and no one could answer where she was. Nothing anyone could say would be enough. "We looked, we looked really hard. Rick and Daryl looked too. We're gonna keep looking till we find her."

"My baby is gonna be all alone tonight." Carol's words came out muffled as her body shook from her sobs. "I don't know what to do Alice. What can I do?"

"Pray Carol." It was all she could offer the mother. Her hand stroked Carols hair, trying to sooth her while the other rubbed her back. She couldn't relate to what was happening, but she knew Carol was in deep pain. Nothing but seeing Sophia alive would make things better.

Rick watched from a distance, his lips in a deep frown. He felt like a failure. He couldn't even bring a little girl back to her mother. He couldn't imagine what he would do if it had been Carl. All he wanted to do was find that little girl. Everyone kept putting their hope in him and all he did was let them down. He rubbed the back of his neck and let out a loud sigh. He had no idea what their next move would be or how long they should keep looking.

He knew Carol blamed him. She blamed him for everything because it was easier that way. He knew it wasn't all his fault, but for some reason he couldn't shake the guilt. Had it really been his fault? No one had told him that it wasn't. Did he try as hard as he could to get her? Was there something different he could have done? So many questioned swirled around his head and all he wanted to do was make it stop. He wanted the endless blame and guilt he felt to just stop.

He looked at Lori, hoping for a comforting look in his direction. Instead she gave him one of pity. Pity because he hadn't found Sophia and Carol blamed him. All he needed was for someone to tell him it wasn't his fault and that it was going to all work out, but that seemed to be the last thing he had been receiving.

* * *

"Alice, can I talk to you for a moment." Alice looked up from the gauze she had applied to T-dog. He kept bleeding and it was starting to worry her. Shane stood in front of her, his hands in his pant pockets.

"Um sure." She answered, standing up from T-dog. "Come get me if you feel a lot of pain or get a fever, ok?" T-dog nodded, watching her walk away with her husband. He just couldn't understand how such a good woman ended up with Shane. Shane had no idea what he had.

"I wanted to talk to you about earlier." Shane spoke, cutting to the chase once they exited the RV. "You made me look like a fool in front of everyone." His teeth were clenched together as the last few words passed his slightly dry lips. He wanted her to stay behind where it was safer, but she just couldn't listen. She had to be all gun-hoe and roll with the boys. She didn't understand that she wasn't cut out for that and he was just trying to keep her safe.

Alice crossed her arms over her chest. It was getting cold now that the sun had set. "I ain't make you look like nothing." She boldly replied. It was getting easier to say what she wanted. It felt amazing and freeing all at once.

"I asked you to stay behind for a reason Alice. I want to know you're safe." He tried to reason.

"I didn't ask you to do that." She felt a heat in the pit of her stomach as he attempted to justify wanting her to do what he said.

"I'm your husband." She frowned and looked away from Shane. "You ain't gotta ask me to do nothing."

"Husband." She repeated. Her body started to tremble slightly. From anger or the cold, she wasn't sure. He really had the nerve to play the husband card. A part of her wanted to outright laugh in his face. "Yeah, you been doing a great job at that, huh?"

Shane took a step back, caught off guard by her venomous sarcasm. "What did you say? I take care of you-"

"Fuck you." She hissed in a hushed tone. Shane's eyes grew wide, shocked by her words and tone. Who was speaking? It didn't sound like Alice. "You don't care about anyone but yourself. You think I don't know?"

"Know what?" Shane saw the rage that had been bottled up rising to the surface in her eyes. She had never looked at him like that. He saw her hands curl into first, her fingernails digging angry crescent marks in her palms.

"I ain't stupid. I know you were sleeping around with Lori. I know you still want to be with her." Shane wanted to say something, but words refused to leave his lips. That had been the last thing he expected her to say. "Fuck you if you think you have the right to try and be a husband now. You ain't been one for a long time so don't bother now." She ran her fingers through her hair. "I thought I'd always love you, I figured we'd always find a way to get past things, but you went too far Shane. Lori of all people? Your best friend's wife?"

"I thought he was dead Alice." He weakly explained.

"Who cares what you thought? How could you do that to me? With my friend. It was different when it was women I ain't know Shane." Her eyes started to sting, but the anger she felt refused to let him see her cry ever again. She had done enough of that to last her a lifetime. "You ran around on me with these women. You've embarrassed me countless times cause you couldn't keep it in your pants." She glanced down at his crotch with disgust. "Did you think I was gonna keep forgiving you?" he had to stop himself from saying yes. "You ain't just screw Lori, you fell in love with her. I can accept a lot from you, though I never should have, but I can't accept that. You ain't got the right to even look at me."

As the words flowed from her lips, she felt proud of herself. She had finally said what she needed to and it felt like a large weight had been lifted. But she still felt the anger in her chest. There was so much more she wanted to say, and not just to Shane.

"Alice…" He was still in shock. He hadn't expected her to blow up like that. He had thought he'd be the one that would be mad. "There ain't nothing going on between me and Lori."

"I bet. Not since Rick is back and all. You're so pathetic. I don't even know why it took me so long to see it."

"You don't mean that." Shane felt his chest begin to hurt. "You know I love you Alice." The tables had turned now and this wasn't how Shane had envisioned his conversation with his wife going.

She shook her head and held her hands up. "I don't care Shane. You had years to make me feel like you did. You could have fixed this."

"Baby please." He reached out for her, but she pulled back. "Alice, you don't know what you're saying. You're stressed." He wasn't sure if he was trying to convince her or himself.

"I'm done Shane. I'm really done. I been on my own since this thing started. I didn't need you then, I don't need you now." A part of Alice felt bad for enjoying the pain Shane was feeling. He was finally getting a taste of what she had gone through for so long. "I won't tell Rick cause I know it'll destroy him. Don't need him feeling like I did."

"Alice…" he watched her back retreat into the RV. Not once did she look back. Shane grabbed the sides of his head and began to pull at his hair. He was starting to lose it more. He didn't want it to be this way, it wasn't supposed to be. Everything was falling apart and he didn't know how to handle it. His hand ran down his face and to his chest. His shirt felt tight all of a sudden. His chest was hurting. He had never felt this kind of indescribable pain before, not even when Lori rejected him

Was this what Alice always felt? How could she deal with this much pain all the time? His eye sight started to blur from tears building up. He kept looking at the RV door, expecting her to run out and say she was joking. She never came back.

Every breath he took was becoming harder and made his lungs feel like they were set aflame. This just wasn't right. Things weren't supposed to play out this way. He had no idea how to sooth this pain.

The pain of heartbreak.

* * *

A/N: Thank you for the follows, reviews, and favorite adds =) And I want to thank Exen44 for the suggestion. It was a great one and I definitely incorporated it. This is why I love reviews, gives me ideas ^_^

I was all inspired recently with and idea I just couldn't let go, so it's been delaying my other stories and oneshots. Fear not though, this story will keep getting updated regularly since it's halfway done... It's just my own laziness that delays this.

x XRoweenaJAugustineX x: I have to shout out awesome stories I've become addicted to! I'm already itching for 22! And thank you =) I tried to keep from Andrea bashing and keep her bratty-ass level reasonable.

bluecrush611: thank you! Oh, don't worry, the drama is just about to begin.

BellaLuz64: it means a lot to me that you liked how I portrayed Shane as well as Alice's growth. And I will definitely be touching on how Alice and Rick met.

Dean's Dirty Little Secert: You know as few Rick fanfics as there are, it wouldn't be a bad idea. I've just started reading some of your fanfics and you're good so I'm more than sure if you did a Rick fanfic it would be great!

-Hale: thank you! I hope this didn't disappoint!


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own TWD as usual.

This one's pretty long. It was going to be longer, but I figured that would be overkill.

**So really quick, I have to shamelessly shout out two people who have amazed me with their talent for writing. **

_**x XRoweenaJAugustineX x: **__** Shadow Cats and Dire Wolves** and **Price of Our Sins** are must reads if you are hopelessly in love with Robb Stark from Game of Thrones like I am. You won't regret it, I super pinky promise. And please, beg her to continue Price of Our Sins so I can keep my sanity! I'll just keep saying please if you don't update it!_

_**Dean's Dirty Little Secert:** **The Unlucky Ones** is a Walking Dead/Rick story and should be read! No, really, go read it... But after you read this. It is so worth getting into!_

* * *

"Are you nervous?" Jessica asked as she zipped up the back of her sister's white dress. "Can you even breathe in that shit?" She had noticed Alice taking short, quick breaths.

Alice frowned, still facing the full-length mirror, but looking at her sister. "Watch your mouth Jessica. We're in the house of the Lord." She pointed her manicured nail to the cross that rested above the doorway. She could hardly breathe though. She was really starting to regret having a big breakfast, courtesy of Lori.

"Blah, blah, blah. I bet you Jesus cursed. How much you wanna bet?"

"How would you know if he did?"

Jessica wiggled her freshly waxed eyebrows. "I got ways." Alice laughed, knowing this was her sister's way of calming her nerves. "So you're really gonna marry that douche bag, huh?"

"Don't call Shane that. He's a great guy."

"Whatever." Jessica waved her hand dismissively in the air. "I hear the legend of the Great Shane Walsh around school. You know how many girls are shocked he's getting hitched? And to you of all people." Jessica had just started high school, and it just happened to be the one Alice and Shane attended years ago.

Alice turned to face Jessica, frowning. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Come on now Alice. You weren't exactly swinging off the chandelier back in the days. You were the church mouse. Still are if you ask me, but maybe after you get some good-"

"Don't say it."

"Dick, you'll cut it out."

"I don't know how we're related." Alice mumbled as she fastened the clasp to a necklace Lori had loaned her. It was a simple, elegant gold chain that rested beautifully against her collarbone.

"Me either. I'm telling you, mom so had an affair. I'm nothing like you guys. It's the only explanation. Wouldn't it be cool if she had a diary or something stashed in the attic that talked about her affair? Hot and passionate and… With that construction worker that lives two houses away!" Jessica always refused to believe she was really her father's child and every time they had the conversation, she suspected a new man of being her real father. Jessica grew serious all of a sudden. "You look beautiful you know."

Alice wore a strapless silk gown with gorgeous and intricate embroidery on the skirt. It clung to her small frame making her feel more feminine than she ever had. She turned to the side and fixed the long train of her dress. "Thank you. I'm so nervous though."

This was not how she pictured her special day going or even what she imagined her dress would look like. Alice had always imagined herself wearing a Cinderella ball gown with her tresses resting on her shoulders. Instead, she wore a form-fitting gown her sister insisted on and her gold locks were curled and pulled up halfway. Still, she felt beautiful and that was all that mattered.

"Don't be." Jessica pushed back a perfectly curled blonde strand of hair from Alice's view. "You're gonna be the belle of the ball. Promise."

"How much are you drinking?" Julie Miller hissed in a hushed tone. It wasn't really a question, but more like a hint to put the champagne flute down. She and her husband were sitting beside Alice, not joining in the festivities of their daughter's special day.

"This is my second glass. It's just champagne." Alice tried to reason.

"Alcohol is the devils work. You best watch how much you drink." Her mother warned. Her mother was a stern and jaded looking woman with dull blonde hair that was always pulled into a low ponytail. Today was no exception. She had permanent frown lines and deep set eyes surrounded by crows feet. She had given Alice an ear full about how revealing her dress was, how the music wasn't church friendly, about the heathens she invited, and why she couldn't just have a simple wedding at their house. Alice looked down at her lap, but rolled her eyes. Leave it to her mother to try and make her feel bad on her wedding day.

Her head snapped up when she felt a hand on her bare shoulder. "Mind if I steal the bride for a dance?"

Alice smiled as she quickly pushed her chair back. "I'm sure the bride would be alright with that." She heard her mother let out a loud sigh of disapproval, but she decided to ignore it. It was her day after all.

"How does it feel to finally be a member of the married club?" the man asked. He wore a dashing black tuxedo. On his lapel was a French rose, held firmly in place by a boutonniere pin. His dark hair was neatly pushed back and his face freshly shaven.

"So far it feels great." They started to sway gracefully to the slow music. Well she was graceful, he tried to keep up.

"Oh, just you wait. That will wear off then he's going to be a pain in your ass."

"Rick." She rested her head for a moment against his shoulder to laugh, her heels making her taller for the day. "I highly doubt it."

He dipped her quickly, but almost lost his footing. They both laughed with delight as he brought her back up. "I never was a good dancer."

"I remember that now."

"So you start working at the hospital when you get back from your honeymoon huh?" he casually asked before spinning her.

"Yeah." He could hear the sadness she tried to mask. "Shane and I talked about it. We're married now and want to start a family. Me dancing isn't really a good idea or a steady source of income, you know?"

"Don't make much sense to do something you don't like though."

She looked up at him, frowning. Even in heels, he was still taller than her. "I like it though. If it's anything like what school made it out to be, I'll enjoy it just as much."

"But it's not your passion Alice." He attempted to reason.

"I know that Rick. But Shane thinks it's a good idea. He was right. We can't start a family with me dancing."

Rick wanted to say more, but held his tongue. Over Alice's head, he could see his wife and son. He shot a smile to his wife. She returned it and waved at him. Lori looked beautiful in her bridesmaid dress. Fuchsia was her color. Carl sat on his mother's lap, playing with her hair and resting his small head on her shoulder. It was a sign that he was sleepy and soon he would need to go home.

"Mind if I cut in?"

"Of course not." Rick let Alice go, shooting her a smile and patting his brother on the back before going to his wife.

Alice's faced lit up like the sun. "I was wondering when we'd dance again."

"You know I had to mingle with everyone and thank them for coming, but now I'm all yours." Shane whispered softly in her ears. She felt a tingle down her spine from his soft breath that tickled her ear. "Have I told you that you look stunning?" he pulled her closer to his body.

"Only a hundred times, but I don't get tired of hearing it." At that moment, it felt like everyone else in the room had disappeared.

"I don't get tired of saying it." He was still a charmer, but he meant it. He loved this woman enough to drop every other woman. He loved her enough to make him do something he thought he'd never do: get hitched. "Alice Grace Walsh. I love how that rolls off the tongue."

"I do too." She agreed, resting her head on her husband's shoulder. She was happy at that very instant, but she couldn't shake the doubt she thought she had seen in his eyes at the altar. She prayed it was just her nerves and she was seeing things. "I have a husband now. It feels so weird, but in a good way."

"Better feel weird in a good way." He pressed his lips to the top of her head in a quick kiss. "I can't even begin to tell you how much I love you Alice. Nothing's gonna change that."

Alice felt Shane lightly grasp her chin and tilt her head up. Her eyes closed slowly as his face leaned closer to hers. It was almost too perfect when she felt his lips touch hers softly in an innocent kiss. Her heart fluttered in her rib cage at the contact. This was her husband, the man she was sure she'd love forever.

* * *

"Please dad, can I help?" Rick looked down at his son and smiled. He was so proud of his boy. There was a lot he did wrong in this world, but Carl was the one thing he got right. Rick looked to Lori who just sighed, but was smiling slightly.

"You gotta ask mom."

Carl faced his mother, putting on the best puppy dog face he could muster.

"Alright. Stick close to your dad and Shane though." She warned, crouching down to his level. "Be careful ok?" she hugged him close, not wanting to admit a part of her feared he'd end up like Sophia. He'd go missing and no one would find him. He was in good hands though. He'd be fine.

Rick let Lori have a moment with Carl as he walked over to Alice. She hadn't said a word to him or Shane all day. He couldn't stand not talking to her. There was so much he wanted to tell her. So much he wanted to explain.

"Hey Alice." He greeted wearing a tense smile. "You ain't said much today." His index fingers were curved around his belt loops.

"Ain't got much to say." She replied, her eyes still lingering on the church. They had thought Sophia was inside ringing the bells to call to them. It had been a false alarm. She was still lost. Rick had felt the group traveled enough and was going to continue the search with just Shane.

"You wanna go inside?" she bit the inside of her cheek, nodding.

"I still wanna help. I ain't tired or nothing."

"It's alright. We got it."

"I wasn't asking." She snapped. Ricks hands flew up defensively.

"I'm sorry. Hey um Alice?" she looked at him from under her lashes. It was a simple look, but it had managed to stir something inside of Rick. Something about it was sensual. He took a deep breath to silence the thoughts that begged him to think provocatively about the young woman. "I'm sorry things have been tense between us. I know I already apologized for the whole CDC thing. You know I didn't mean it. I would never-"

"I'm gonna go say a quick prayer in the church." She spoke quickly, cutting him off. She didn't need to be reminded that he regretted what happened.

Rick let his head drop for a moment. She was making this hard and he couldn't blame her. He had messed up big time.

Lori hadn't said one thing to make him feel better about what happened with Sophia, Shane was trying to convince him that it was time to give up the search, and Alice still wouldn't talk to him. There was so much on his mind, but no outlet for his thoughts. He was starting to feel like he was going mad in his own head. Rick wanted to help everyone, but who was helping him?

Shane watched Alice enter the church from a distance. He knew she'd want to say a prayer. Leave it to her to still be religious when this new world gave so many reasons to doubt there was a God. Shane had kept his distance, her words still stung and her avoidance of him didn't help. He had decided that morning that he would leave as soon as they found something out about Sophia or gave up. It was probably the best for his sanity to leave. Being around two women that meant so much to him, but couldn't stand him was too much.

Alice had known all along about he and Lori. He had to admit he wasn't surprised she knew, it wasn't like he really attempted to cover his tracks. The messes he created for himself. He was pretty damn sure Alice wouldn't tell Rick. If there was one thing he knew about his wife, it was that she cared about the Grimes family as if they were her own and would never hurt them intentionally.

He obviously couldn't say the same anymore. He was in love with his best friend's wife, had gotten too use to playing surrogate father to Carl, and was starting to resent Rick more and more with each passing day.

Not only was Rick back and had Lori by his side again, he took the role of leader from him. Everyone trusted Rick's words more than Shane's and it bothered him immensely. He had been the one looking out for everyone before Rick came. He'd been the one making the decisions he felt would help them survive. It only took Rick one day to take that power from him.

"You planning on leaving?"

The voice forced Shane back to reality. "Something like that. Why you asking?"

Andrea smirked and arched her left eyebrow. "I want in."

"Do you now." That Walsh smirk had made its way onto his lips. Andrea would never be a replacement for either Alice or Lori, but she did give him attention. He had no idea why she was suddenly giving him the time of day, but he wasn't about to question it. It also didn't hurt that she was nice on the eyes and completely different from the two women that tormented his mind. This blonde had no history with him. They shared no wedding vows that he broke or empty promises he never fulfilled. She couldn't call him a liar, thinking he knew all along that Rick was alive and was trying to take advantage of the situation. He could be anyone he wanted with Andrea and it would be alright because she no idea who he was before the outbreak.

She couldn't hate him.

* * *

"Do you think you can teach me how to shoot sometime soon Aunt Alice?" Carl walked beside Alice, bouncing with excitement to be with his dad. Getting to look for Sophia when everyone else went back made him feel like a grown up.

Alice frowned, her eyebrow quirking up. "No, Carl."

"Why not?" the boy nearly whined. So much for being an adult "I wanna help out."

"You're helping if you stay safe and don't touch a gun."

"You have a gun." He glanced at the waistband of her jeans. In the back was her gun tucked in safely.

"That's… Well it's different for me."

"How's it different?"

"I'm older than you. That's how." She replied, ruffling his hair. "Besides, you ought to be asking your dad."

"I did. And I asked Shane. But mom said I couldn't learn."

Carl never placed the word 'uncle' in front of Shane's name, but 'aunt' was always present when he spoke to Alice. She never asked why though, it wasn't like it bothered her. It was an honor to be aunt Alice really.

"Carl, stop bothering Aunt Alice." Rick warned, smiling affectionately at the boy. "You know she can't teach you if your mom says no."

"Mom always says no to the fun stuff dad."

"Cause the fun stuff is the most dangerous." Alice explained, resting her arm around his shoulders. With Rick and Shane there, it was relatively safe. Alice didn't feel the need to have her gun out and ready for action.

Shane glanced back at Alice. He had yet to speak with her again, but he desperately wanted to. It bothered him endlessly that she avoided him. He had also noticed she wasn't saying much to Rick either, and when she did, she sounded annoyed or upset with him. He wanted to ask Rick if anything had happened between them that made her mad, but he doubted it. As long as Alice and Rick were friends, Shane had never seen or even heard of them arguing.

She had exploded on him for the first time ever and had made it clear she didn't need him anymore. Maybe if she knew he planned on leaving she'd realize she still loved him and wanted him to stay. Maybe she'd give him one last chance to right his wrongs.

Shane noticed movement ahead and steadied his rifle, but lowered it slowly when he saw what it was. He nudged Rick with his elbow and pointed out what he saw. Rick began to smile and grabbed his son gently by the shoulders. Carl's face broke out into a grin when he saw the deer. Just as he was about to speak, Rick placed his finger to his lips. The boy gave an understanding nod. Alice slowly and carefully stepped closer, stopping beside Shane. It was rare to see a deer that Daryl didn't hunt down. She didn't understand how he could kill such a cute animal. Then again, of course he'd be the one able to kill Bambi.

Carl began walking slowly towards it, tiptoeing with every step. The deer watched the boy closely with its white rimmed eyes, but its strong frame did not move an inch. Rick watched his son and was glad Carl had the chance to witness the beautiful caramel-colored creature. The world had become shit and ended for humans, but that didn't stop the beauty nature had to offer. Carl reached his hand out to touch the deer as he got close. Their eyes were connected, both watching each other. But the peace was suddenly broken by a single gunshot.

Carl's small body flew back a few inches before dropping down. His hand was still outstretched as he fell. The deer dropped as well, life quickly draining from its eyes. Rick let out a blood-curdling scream as he ran to his son, throwing his own safety to the wind. It happened in a matter of seconds, but to Rick, he saw everything in slow motion.

"Oh my God." Alice whispered before running behind Rick.

Standing in the distance was an overweight man. His hands that were holding the rifle were shaking and his eyes resting on Carl. He was whispering something to himself. Shane glared at the man, running over to his best friend and wife.

The overweight man, dressed in overalls, waddled over as fast as he could. "I'm sorry! I was trying to shoot the dear! I swear I didn't see him!" he attempted to explain as if it would have made a difference.

"Carl!" Rick lifted his son off the ground, oblivious to what the stranger had said. Carl's warm blood started to run down Rick's arm.

"I'm sorry!" the man repeated again.

"We have to help him!" Alice felt Carl's neck for his pulse and gave a small sigh of relief when she felt it.

"Is he…" Rick couldn't bring himself to say the words.

"He's alive." She assured. "But we gotta get him help. We need to stop all that bleeding."

"I… I know someone. There's a farm that I'm staying at. He can help."

"Start leading us then man! You're wasting precious time!" Shane yelled.

* * *

Ricks shirt and hands were covered in his sons blood. Though he stood just outside the room his son was in, he felt like they were miles apart. He was scared he had lost Carl. This was a parent's worst nightmare. There was nothing he could do but wait and hope things worked out. Looking over his shoulder he saw Alice. She had followed him into the house while Shane ran/walked behind with the overweight man named Otis. She was seated and was biting down on her thumbnail. It was evident that she too was worried about his son. Rick rested his shaking hand against the wall by a door and let his head lean against it.

Lori didn't know. He didn't want to leave his son, but he had to tell Lori. He heard a soft sob and realized it had come from him. He felt alone and angry. He was in a house with people, with Alice, and yet he felt like he was by himself. Alice had kept her distance and no one in the house knew what to tell him. He was furious at himself for letting his son, his little boy, get shot. Logically, he knew there was no way he could have actually stopped what happened, but he still blamed himself. He just couldn't get shit right. It was a basic task. Look for Sophia, bring Carl back in one piece. He couldn't do it though because he kept finding ways to fuck things up.

Maybe Jenner had the right idea. Jenner had whispered something to Rick that day before letting him go. That secret was the reason why he couldn't fault the doctor for staying behind. He left that day thinking they could make it anyway, but with everything that had been happening, he was beginning to second-guess himself.

He felt like his mind was beginning to unravel and there was no one to turn to. Lori was in her own world, Shane kept challenging his decisions, and Alice didn't want to be near him. The three people he cared about and knew before the outbreak were the same people that helped make him feel like he was going to lose it soon.

Alice silently watched Rick from her seat. He looked so broken and she pitied him. She hated to admit it, but she was glad she didn't have a child. She would never have to feel the pain Carol and Rick felt or be in the constant state of worry Lori was in. All she had to do was make sure she stayed alive. She loved Carl without a doubt, but it wasn't anywhere close to how his parents loved him, that much she knew. She brought her hands down to her knees and grasped them. Her hands were itching to touch Rick. She wanted to comfort him, but could she allow herself to?

Hershel, that was the doctors name. He seemed to know what he was doing as did everyone in the house. Alice had offered to help, but Hershel told her it was best to keep Rick calm. Seeing how badly he was shaking at the moment, she had to agree. But instead she had taken a seat and waited to know what was going on. She had never seen Rick look scared. He was always the strong one keeping everyone calm.

"He's… He's…" Ricks voice shook as he tried to get the words out.

Alice's lips tightened for a moment as she forced her eyes to look away from him. It was getting harder to stay seated. She hadn't wanted to fall back into their usual pattern, but could she really turn her back on him when he needed her? Before all this had happened, he always had her back. Was she really willing to be a cold bitch because he didn't return her feelings? He didn't even know what she was feeling and she was being a brat over it. What had he done that was so wrong anyway? It was the wine, not Rick that had done that and it wasn't his fault she had feelings for him that he couldn't return.

She made her decision.

She stood up and slowly walked over. "He's gonna be fine Rick." Alice assured, though she wasn't too sure herself. She had seen all the blood Carl lost and was reminded of it by how much was on Rick's shirt. Times were different now and unfortunately Carl couldn't be whisked off to an emergency room.

She grabbed his shoulder and turned him to face her. Grabbing his large shaking hands in her small ones, she began to say a prayer. Rick had no idea what she was saying. He saw her lips moving but for a moment, everything was silent around him but his fears. It barely even registered with him that she had come to him. She let his hands drop gently and took a step back from him.

Catching her by surprise, he suddenly pulled her body into his and began sobbing into her oily blonde hair. He was trembling and needed someone to hold. Seeing him so weak broke her. She began rubbing his back. She whispered soothing words into his waiting ears. His mind was racing a mile a minute, but the warmth and companionship Alice provided helped. He needed Carl to be alright, he needed this to be a bad dream. But when he saw his blood covered hands wrapped around Alice, staining her shirt, he knew it was all too real.

Alice pulled back slightly and looked up at the tall man that held her close. She gave him a tiny smile, bringing her hand to meet his scruffy cheek. She ran her thumb in small circles against the flesh, silently pleading with him to believe things would be fine. It had been a while since she talked or been near Rick willingly, but she missed him.

It was a disappointment to her that Carl being hurt had been the reason she decided to drop her grudge at that moment. It wasn't really Rick's fault anyway. It was an honest mistake that he wouldn't have made under different circumstances. Rick didn't know that it was more than just a kiss to her, and he never needed to find out. It would just complicate an already fucked up situation. He needed her to comfort him, and she'd just be a terrible person if she ignored him over a silly grudge and her bruised pride.

This was their relationship. They leaned on each other when either of them felt too weak to stand alone. It always had been that way, and though Alice recently started longing for more, she could be alright with this again. That simple kiss had made her realize the feelings she had denied for years. She couldn't be mad at him for not feeling what she did. It was unfair to hold onto a mistake he made while under the influence of alcohol.

He did apologize countless times and she'd only been mad because she wanted to hear a confession of love. She wanted too much from him and knew it. Nothing could happen between them anyway. Countless obstacles stood in their way. Even if he had felt what she did, it would only complicate things in an already messy situation. Alice cared enough about Rick to accept that a friendship was all they could have, but she loved him enough to accept any form of closeness they were granted.

"I need some air. I gotta get out this house."

Alice nodded, leading him by the hand outside the screen door. Standing on the porch, they saw Shane and Otis running over. Well Shane was running and forcing the heavily panting man to follow him. Spotting Rick, Shane ran over to the house, leaving Otis.

* * *

A/N: And so ends another chapter. As always, thanks to those who added this to their favorites and alerts! Hugs all around! Now for my new favorite part of chapter endings!

Leyshla Gisel, deelove1, JadedTinks, gerardlover, Sof, -Hale: Thank you guys so much for reviewing. I really appreciated the nice things that were said and wow I'm just happy you all enjoy it! I hope this chapter was good for you all =)

x XRoweenaJAugustineX x: I felt bad for Shane too! I had to stop myself from reconsidering who Alice ended up with. I can say the same thing about your writing and character development too! Ugh I am so in love with your stories and I really hate the wait lol you have noooo idea!

Dean's Dirty Little Secert: I am certainly going to squeeze in more moments between the pair!

Daydream-Away95: I feel bad for Shane too, buuuuut it is his fault womp womp lol!

BellaLuz64: Thank you so much =)

TheForrestAgain: Why thank you! I'm glad you found it though!

Sharpie-Marker1101: I uh have a maaajor confession... At first when I read your review I was like 'thank goodness someone finally said it' lol cause I hated Alice at first, though it pains me to admit. I tried not to rush things, but yeah she was hard to write because she wouldn't stick up for herself and that's a pet peeve of mine. But I'm so glad you stuck it out! I promise it keeps getting better.

Exen44: Aw you make me blush! I hope this chapter didn't disappoint. I kept your suggestion in mind the whole time while editing =) Not sure if I did justice to it though -_-


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own TWD in any way, shape, or form.**

* * *

"Is… Is he alive? Is he alive?" Otis asked, his breathing labored. Otis' hand rested on stair railing of the wooden porch, his body hunched over slightly. His eyes were filled with a genuine regret.

Rick opened his mouth to speak, but his lips began to tremble uncontrollably. He brought his shaky hand up and wiped his forehead with the back of it. Alice frowned, watching him unknowingly smear Carl's blood on his face. Shane stepped forward and pulled out an orange cloth from the side pocket of his backpack.

"You got blood on your face." He began to gently wipe Rick's face clean. "It's ok." He assured as strongly as he could, but kept his voice soft. Shane watched Rick let go of Alice's hand. "Here." He placed the cloth in Ricks hands.

Rick looked down, his vision blurred by un-shed tears. He could faintly make out the red stains on his hands.

Alice watched the two men interact quietly, her thin arms hugging her midsection. This was the Shane that won her heart.

He was taking care of Rick, being there for him like he used to. For a moment there was a temptation to run into his arms like old times. She silently questioned if there would ever be a time when she wouldn't feel a mixture of love and resentment when she looked at her husband.

"I… I think we should go inside." Alice softly suggested, almost afraid to ruin the moment between the 'brothers'.

"Yeah. Where is he?"

Rick silently led them into the small, yet cozy house. They stepped into the room Hershel was in.

Hershel sat on the bed next to Carl, a white cloth pressed against his wound. It broke Alice's heart to see the young boy looking so deathly pale. He was unconscious and sweating profusely. Rick bit down on his lower lip, choking back a sob he felt coming. He wanted to sit beside his son and push his damp hair off of his forehead.

Looking back, Hershel made eye contact with Rick. "Do you know his blood type?"

"Yeah. It's the same as mine. A positive." He sounded so broken.

"How fortunate." Hershel nodded his head to himself. "Don't wonder off too far. I'm gonna need you." He looked over with his striking blue eyes at Otis. "What happened?"

It was a simple question that could easily sound accusing, but Hershel sounded far from it.

"I-I was tracking a buck." Otis' voice was low and guilt ridden. "Bullet went through it, it went clean through."

"The deer slowed that bullet down, which certainly saved his life. But it did not go clean through. It broke up into pieces. If I can get the bullet fragments out, I'm counting six."

"I never saw him." The Otis whispered to an older blonde woman that had been helping out with Carl. She nodded her head sympathetically. "I did not know until he was on the ground." The blonde pulled him into a hug.

"Lori… Lori doesn't know." Shane put his arm around Rick's shoulder. "My wife doesn't know. She doesn't know." Rick's voice cracked as a sob escaped and the dam in his eyes broke.

"Shh, it's gonna be alright." Shane whispered.

* * *

"You used to be a nurse?" Alice nodded to Hershel's question as she braided her hair quickly. It was sloppy, but who was she trying to impress? "You ever helped out during surgeries?"

"A few times. Just tell me what you need me to do."

"This won't be like the surgeries you helped in." he warned as he watched her clean her hands in a basin of water. "He isn't under anything."

"I know." Her voice was low, but loud enough to be heard. Alice sat down beside Carl. "He's a strong kid. I don't wanna see him hurting, he just a child, but it'll keep him alive. He'll pull through."

"Now I don't want your emotions getting in the way."

"They won't. They can't right now."

"Then let's get this started. The sooner, the better."

"What you need me to do?"

"Hold him down. You're gonna need to be firm with him now. We can't have him moving too much, it will only make things worse."

Alice nodded as she sat up straight and delicately placed her hands on the boy's small shoulders. She leaned down and placed a feather light kiss on his forehead. Her blue eyes landed on the cross charm on her bracelet. Mentally, she recited a quick prayer.

"You're gonna be alright cowboy."

* * *

"Why did I let him come with us?" Rick knew why. He thought it was safe, he thought everything would be fine. "I should have sent him with Lori."

"Don't you start that. You'll never get that monkey off your back." Shane spoke.

The two men sat outside of Carl's room, waiting for any kind of news. Every minute that passed felt like hours and it was killing Rick. This was all his fault.

"A little girl goes missing, you look for her. Simple right? You said call it and head back."

"Forget what I said Rick."

"Carl got shot because of me. I should be in that room." He could hear Shane, but wasn't processing what he was saying.

"You been there already partner. But you pulled through and so will he."

"Is that why I got out of that hospital? Found my family for it to end here like this? Is this some kind of sick joke?"

"You stop it. Just stop."

"A little girl goes missing." His voice began to grow shaky and his eyes water. "You look for her. It's really that simple."

The door swung open to Carl's room, catching both men's attention. Rick jumped out of his seat, waiting for news.

"Rick, he needs blood." A dark haired woman named Maggie announced, allowing him in the room.

"You, hold him down." Hershel ordered Shane. Rick stood to the side, allowing the blonde to clean his arm to draw blood. His eyes stayed glued on his son whose upper body was being held down by Alice. Her cheeks were visibly damp, her eyes watery, and she had a few red scratches on her bare upper arms. He wasn't sure what happened, but from the looks of things Carl had put up a good fight against Alice.

"Dad!" Carl cried, flailing harder when he caught site of his father.

"Carl you gotta be still baby." Alice pleaded as she applied more of her weight against him. It was hard to keep him still and the last thing she wanted to do was crushing him under her. Shane hurried over and held down Carl's kicking legs.

"Almost there." Hershel calmly announced. Carl screamed, choking slightly from crying so hard, as Hershel dug deeper for the bullet shard.

Rick felt like his heart was being ripped from his chest. His son was crying for him to help and there was nothing he could do. "Stop! You're killing him!" he yelled.

"Rick! Do you want him to live?!" Shane yelled back.

"He needs blood." The blonde woman timidly reminded.

"Do it now!" Shane ordered. As if snapping him back to reality, Rick handed his arm over to the woman and let her stick the needle into his vain. His eyes stayed glued to his son. He didn't deserve this pain. He was too little for this. It wasn't fair, it should have been him that got shot. If only he had hadn't allowed Carl to tag along. "It's ok." Shane soothed to Carl. Carl suddenly stopped moving. "What… What just happened?"

"It's ok. He just passed out." Hershel calmly informed as he pulled out a bullet shard. "One down, five to go."

Alice removed her hands from Carl and pushed his damp hair out of his face. "You did good." She knew he couldn't hear her.

Shane watched his wife help Hershel cover Carl's wound and clean the boy up. Her hair was messy, strands loose from a sloppy braid she made. Her forehead had a thin film of sweat covering it and her arms had a few angry looking scratches. Alice looked thoroughly exhausted and worried. To anyone else, Alice looked a mess, but to him she looked beautiful. Not pretty, but beautiful. He felt regret tug at his stomach as he watched her help care for Carl.

She would have been a great mother.

* * *

A/N: Ok... My usual excuse for not updating... I'm lazy. There, I said it.

Anyway, thanks to everyone who review and added this to their alerts and favorites! I love the love I've been getting lol

**TheForrestAgain**: Ah, thank you! I have so many ideas as to where I want to take this after seeing the new episodes. But I agree, cheating is a deal breaker... BIG deal breaker. I hope you continue to enjoy this story =)

**Sharpie-Marker1101**: lol I have been waiting to reach Carl getting shot like you wouldn't believe! And I don't blame you for disliking a weak OC, but idk, usually I see so many OC's that are a total badass and are hardcore in everything they do with no real problems. That's not reality to me and as much as I wanted to slap myself for making Alice so weak, it made it easier and more fun to see how I could make her grow. Anyway, there will be some draaaama soon enough! And thank you and I hope you keep reading =)

**Leyshla Gisel:** That gorgeous man is getting free vagina thrown at him lol if I were a man that looked like that... I'm not sure I'd turn it away lol

**x XRoweenaJAugustineX x:** OMG do I have a bone to pick with you! Every time I get an alert, I get so excited! I start doing my happy dance, and with anticipation so great my little hands shake, I open my email. Slowly a joker like smile creeps upon my lips and my eyes dart down the screen to see who updated... And all my hopes and dreams die in that moment because it's never you -_- You know, if you want me to suffer, just say so lol ah thank yoooou! I too hate that I feel bad for Shane, but it must... be... done! And I assure you, Rick will get some type of loving soon. His little heart needs it. JUST LIKE MY LITTLE HEART NEEDS SOME ROBB AND JON lol curse you for writing as well as you do! Ok, my rant of the month is officially lol.

**Dean's Dirty Little Secert**: No problem =) I love to support good work! And thank you for reading. Shane... yeah he needs a good butt-kicking lol

**Exen44**: O...M...F...G I had a mini heart attack when I started to read your review lol I was like noooooo! I have failed- oh wait, there's more! Thank you I appreciate that you even read this so much!

**MrsAlexandraHale**: Think of it this way, Alice will appreciate Rick soooo much more if he ever puts the moves on her because she was stuck with that jerk Shane lol

**bluecrush611**: Thank you! And I have a feeling Rick might say something about his feeling soon, it's just a feeling though lol

**Sof**: Thank you =) I'm glad you liked!

**Guest 1 and 2**(I can't thank you properly without names. Why won't you leave names so I can love you?!),** Straight Edge Queen, Sue**: Thaaaaank you so much for the love and support!


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: It never changes, I don't own TWD

A/N: So since I decided to be lazy and all, I figured two updates in a night is a good way to apologize.

* * *

"Pressure's stable." Hershel informed everyone. Rick looked up from the clear tube his blood was flowing into.

"Lori should be here. She doesn't even know. I gotta go find her and bring her here."

"You can't do that."

"She's his mother. She needs to know what happened. She needs to know her son is lying here, shot."

"And he's gonna need more blood." Hershel looked at Shane. "He can't go more than 50 feet from this bed."

Rick stood up, but almost fell back into his seat. The older blonde, who Alice assumed was Otis' wife, helped him stand up straight. Shane walked over.

"Hey, hey sit back down."

"I'm alright." Shane followed him out of the room.

Alice let out a sigh, pushing a few stray strands of hair from her face. "He ain't never been good at sitting around and waiting."

"If he wants his son to live, he's gonna have to get over it. There's a problem though."

"Problem?" Alice echoed, her brows furrowing.

"I'm gonna have to dig deeper for some of those shard's and I'm sure it got an artery by the swelling of his belly."

Alice gave an understanding nod. "Cutting him open is the only way?" Hershel nodded. "But how? Is there a hospital near here?"

"Burned down a while back, but there might be another way."

* * *

It felt strange to watch Shane drive off with Otis. Since the outbreak, Alice had never truly been away from Shane. He may have kept watch or gone on supply runs, but that was a danger that was predictable for the most part. Glenn was usually there to guide the way since he knew Atlanta the best and knew how to avoid most walkers, but this wasn't the same. Shane would be in unfamiliar territory with just Otis as backup. Otis was a nice man and meant well, but was in no type of shape to be running from walkers. That fact alone was enough to make Alice worry.

The hospital had burned down but the local high school had the medical supplies Hershel needed. Apparently, FEMA had set up there a while back. Shane offered to go so Rick could stay with Carl. Things had been rocky between the two men, but Shane did care about Carl. Not just because he loved Lori, but because he genuinely liked the kid.

Alice had wanted to tag along. She knew it was dangerous, but she wanted to help. Hershel, however, informed her that he needed her to stay on the farm. He needed a familiar face to keep Rick as calm as he could be kept as well as a pair of extra hands to help with Carl.

Maggie had also volunteered her services in the tense situation. She would go find Lori and bring her to the farm. It gave Rick one less thing to worry about. He was still an emotional wreck, but a grateful one. He had to admit he felt useless sitting at the farm while Otis and Shane risked their lives for Carl. It was his son, he should have been the one taking on the dangerous task, but his blood was needed to keep Carl alive.

The other blonde watched the two men drive off in a pickup truck, her hand covering her mouth. Patricia, that was her name. She was older than Alice, but had a kind face. Patricia silently jogged into the house, her glazed eyes giving away that she was about to cry.

Otis and Patricia really loved one another, that much Alice could see. She had noticed the lingering looks they gave one another and how tight they embraced before Otis departed. That was what love looked like. That was the way Alice was not acting towards Shane as he got ready to leave. Though she had let him know she was far from fond of him, she was worried and prayed he'd come back alive.

He had hesitantly and quietly asked for a hug before leaving. She obliged him, knowing there was a chance she wouldn't see him again. As they hugged, she felt the familiar warmth fill her that usually did when they touched. He held her tightly, almost as if protecting her from the world for a moment, and kissed the top of her head. Her arms held him just as tight and her face got lost in his broad shoulder. She had tried to convince herself she held on so tightly because that might have been the last time she ever saw him, but she knew the truth. She stilled loved Shane, regardless of all the built up resentment she felt. It was hard to forget years spent together in just a few months, no matter what he did.

He had given women he didn't love what he gave her, and it hurt that it was so easy for him to do. She had to look at Lori every day and know she had half of Alice. She wished she could forgive Shane one last time, but things would never be the same. That suspicion and hurt would always linger, and it was all because of him. She had often wondered why he hadn't told her he had been so unhappy. Was he afraid to hurt her? If that was why, he ended up doing more damage by cheating instead of talking to her. He left her with more than just feelings of resentment; he left her wondering if she wasn't good enough for him. Had something been wrong with her?

There were so many reasons she wanted to be with Shane again, but the few reasons to end things had outweigh the good.

Rick had watched the hug and almost felt guilty. It felt like he was watching something intimate and not meant for anyone else's eyes. Shane was his best friend and was going to risk his life for his son, but there was a pang of jealousy in his chest. He envied Shane getting to hold Alice that close and openly.

As Otis and Shane drove off, Rick watched the look on Alice's face, forgetting Hershel's presence. Her expression and tense posture gave away the inner battle she was having. Rick wondered what it was about. Did she feel guilty for staying in the safety of the farm while those two men risked everything? He was tempted to ask.

"Let's go check on your boy." Hershel began walking into the house, Alice and Rick in tow.

* * *

"I uh… I wanna thank you Alice." Rick's voice was hushed. He didn't want to admit it, but his body felt weak from the blood he had given.

Alice looked up from Carl. She had been wiping his face and upper body with a damp cloth. She had to busy herself and keep her mind off of Shane... And Otis. "I ain't do nothing." She placed the cloth into a basin that had been placed at Carl's bedside.

"You did Alice. You helped with Carl." For a moment, his eyes lingered on her scratched up arms. His deep blue eyes snapped back to her face when he heard her soft laugh. He eyed her in curiosity.

"He got me good, huh?" She shrugged her shoulders and stood up from the bed. She walked over to the window and lightly leaned against the frame. "For a little thing, he sure has a lot of strength. I didn't think he would but boy I was wrong. He is definitely a Grimes."

"He certainly is." Rick cautiously stepped closer to Alice, almost afraid she would flee if he moved too fast. She was talking to him, which was a good sign, but he still felt like he was walking on eggshells with her.

"He's gonna pull through this Rick. He's a lot stronger than he looks."

"I didn't finish thanking you." His tall frame hovered over her short one. "I don't mean just about Carl. I mean what you did for me. I know you're pretty mad at me and I don't blame you, but thanks for being here."

She looked out the window, staring at the lush greenery that surrounded them. It was peaceful and gave off the deceiving feeling that the world was still all right. Alice missed how Ricks eyes darted to her lips then back to her face. His fingers twitched, itching to hold her close against him. He wanted to feel the heat her lips against his again. He could still remember how soft they felt. It was cliché, but it really was like running a rose petal across his lips. It hadn't been a passionate kiss, but Rick wanted to know how one with her would feel like. Would it set his insides on fire in the most pleasurable of ways? Would it go from a heated kiss to an entanglement of limbs and tossed clothes?

His mind was going through turmoil.

His son laid in a bed a few feet away, his wife was acting strange, and Alice was making him feel things he hadn't in a while. Rick wanted Alice bad, but there were far too many things that stood in the way of that. Crossing that line with her at the CDC had answered so many unspoken questions he had, but caused new questions to form.

"What are friends for?" Her heard her say, shaking him from his own thoughts. Friends. That's what they were and all they were allowed to be. He tried to do right by everyone, but he could never seem to do right by himself.

He shot her a weak smile. "Being there when you royally fuck up apparently."

Alice cracked a smile, but remained quiet. It wasn't much, but it was the most he had gotten out of her since they had left the CDC. He would accept what he could get from her.

* * *

Lori's heart had been beating wildly against her rib cage the whole ride to the Greene farm. She knew in her gut the moment she had heard that single gunshot, something was wrong. Her worse fear was unfolding before her. Carl was hurt and she wasn't there. Her baby boy was hurt. She had no idea what happened and honestly she didn't care, she just wanted her son to be alright. When she had first seen the dark haired rider, she was apprehensive, but then she said Carl had been shot. That was all she needed to hear to follow the unfamiliar woman. It didn't matter that she had no idea who this woman was, it was irrelevant that she didn't know where she was going. All that mattered was her baby was hurt and she wasn't with him.

Before even reaching the house, she spotted Rick. Blood was on his deputy shit. Was it Rick's blood? Was it Carl's? The moment he reached her, she began to cry, falling into his arms. Things weren't supposed to happen this way. Then again, nothing had been going right for months.

Lori's stomach tightened when she saw her son unconscious in the bed. Carl looked so pale and weak and as a mother, it killed her that there was nothing she could do about it. The one person she loved more than anything in the world was dancing on the line between life and death. It was truly out of her hands. She sobbed as she lowered her body next to his.

"Baby boy?" she called softly, wishing his eyes to open for her. "Baby boy? It's alright. Mommy's here. Mommy's here." She felt Rick's heavy hand on her hips. Without a second thought, she grabbed it and held tightly as she buried her face into Carl's hair. "My baby."

Rick watched his wife with heavy, remorseful eyes. This was all his fault. He couldn't even keep his son safe. He felt like a failure as he watched his wife softly cry into his son's hair. He hated to see her like this, but he hated even more that it wasn't him that was in that bed.

He was supposed to lead the group and he failed keeping a little girl and boy safe. He just couldn't get it right. If only he had just listened when Shane had said to call it a day after searching for Sophia.

* * *

"How long has he been a doctor?" Alice asked Patricia, watching her clean up the makeshift blood transfusion machine. Rick had just given blood a second time to Carl and it had weakened him considerably. He was deathly pale and stumbled with every step. Lori had let him lean against her for support as they walked into the parlor. Alice would have been lying if she said she hadn't felt a pang of jealousy watching the two hold each other close, and whisper reassuring things to one another. She scolded herself as soon as the feeling came. Their son had been shot and though things were bumpy between the couple, there was still a love there. Maybe this would be the thing that made them get their act together with one another. Maybe they'd be happy like they used to be, and Alice would forget how she really felt for Rick.

"Many years. But he's not a medical doctor."

Alice's eyebrows shot up. "What do you mean he's not a medical doctor?"

"Uh… Well I don't think you should worry or anything like that. He's really good at what he does." Patricia looked down, purposely hiding her face. She was trying hard to avoid answering the question.

"And what does he do Patricia?" Alice pushed.

"He's an um. Well he's a veterinarian."

She cracked a smile at Patricia's words. "He's a-" Patricia's face was serious, no traces of humor found. "That's not a joke, is it?"

"Not at all." Patricia let out a sigh, sitting down next to Carl and redressing his wounds. Like Alice, she too had to stay busy to keep her mind off Otis. "But Alice, he's great at what he does."

"But he didn't go to medical school. He's never operated on a human before, has he?"

"No, but animals at too different you know." The older woman tried to assure. Alice was only half convinced.

Lori, Rick, and Hershel entered the room. Lori looked extremely worried and a little doubtful. Alice figured she knew about Hershel as well.

"We don't have much time." Hershel informed. For someone who's never worked on humans, he sure sounded confident.

"What do you mean?" Rick held out his bandaged arm. "If you need more blood take it. Do whatever you need to. After that, I'm gonna go find them."

"You're gonna what?" Lori placed a hand on her narrow hip.

"They should have been back already Lori."

"Shane said he'd come back. He's gonna come back. You don't need to be out there."

"You wouldn't even make it across the lawn. You're too weak already."

"But what if-"

"Rick you better stay here!" Lori snapped. "You can be mad, you can pray, you can wonder why God is so cruel, but you will not leave here. Carl needs you here. I'm not doing this alone. Not again."

Rick wanted to argue back that Shane and Otis probably needed him as well, but Lori was right. Carl did need him more and if anything happened while he was gone, he'd hate himself forever. He let out a sigh, but didn't protest.

As he sat silently, letting Patricia draw more blood, he thought back to Lori's words. 'Carl needs you here'. She wanted him there for their son, not because she needed him. Lori had said she wasn't going to do this alone, but that didn't mean she needed him to be there for her. He was needed there for Carl and no other reason. She stuck to his side like glue, helping him whenever he seem to need it. It was the longest she had been by his side in a while. It was nice, but it didn't feel like he thought it would.

Rick had figured having Lori with him like that, by his side, would have made him feel like things were alright. He wanted to take it as a sign that things could be fixed in their broken relationship. That wasn't the case. His mind and heart told him it was only because of Carl she was beside him. They were united as parents, not lovers.

He wanted to hear that she needed him. He knew Carl needed him, but what about Lori? Was there anything she needed from him other than protection and to be Carl's father? Sooner or later the questions that plagued Rick about his wife would need to be answered. He wasn't sure how much longer he could handle not knowing where he really stood with Lori. His gut told him everything he needed to know though. It told him why Lori and Shane were acting weird. It also told him why Alice refused to talk to Lori if it wasn't necessary and why she didn't want to be with Shane. But he needed to hear it from Lori before he was really willing to believe it. He couldn't just yet. There was a chance he was wrong and until he knew otherwise, he wouldn't believe what his gut told him was true.

* * *

A/N: Well, there you have it =)

You know, I didn't even notice till... just now that this has 84 followers. I'm so happy! Ugh it warms my little heart like you wouldn't believe! See, doesn't take a lot to make me happy lol as long as 1 person likes this enough to read it I'm content.

**You guys are awesome! **


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: This chapter is extra long for two reasons: 1. It was my birthday yesterday (yay meeeeee) and as a gift to you all, I figured why not! 2. There's a surprise at the end and I didn't feel right breaking this into two parts. Anyway as all ways enjoy! **

**And as always, I must encourage you to read Price of Our Sins by x XRoweenaJAugustineX x because she just updated. Let me tell you, I have a weird relationship with her stories! I get so happy when I read 'em, because they're really good and ugh I just love Jon and Robb... But then I reach the last chapter and I just wanna cry because I have to wait for an update! Signs of a good writer lol **

**Then there's Dean's Dirty Little Secert, but if you live of TWD, I don't even have to tell you to read her story 'cause I'm sure you already have at this point lol, I'm the one that's behind... Gotta catch up, but so far I'm loving it and if you want some Rick/OC/Daryl drama, that's where you go! **

* * *

"You know for some reason, I ain't too surprise Merle had the clap." Alice spoke attempting to distract T-dog. Maggie smiled at the comment, but stayed silent. Alice enjoyed Maggie's company. It was a nice change to be around a woman that hadn't slept with her husband, was angry with the world and glaring daggers at everyone but Shane, or crying every night about her missing daughter. Maggie seemed pretty laid back for the most part and didn't seem to bring drama.

"I really don't wanna think about Merle having the clap." T-dog grunted through clenched teeth. His injured arm was outstretched across a table in the parlor and Patricia sat across from him.

"Him having it was the best thing to happen to you." Patricia informed, still focused on stitching his wound.

Glenn and T-dog had popped up on Hershel's farm after night fall. T-dog had blood poisoning and according to Patricia, he would have been dead if he had come any later. Alice had noticed Glenn fidgeting and stealing glances of Maggie. Though everyone was trying to keep the mood light, it wasn't enough to mask the tension in the house. Everyone was worried about Carl and unsure if he would make it through the night. Letting out a soft sigh, Glenn left the house. Maggie stood up and followed behind.

"So Shane went to get the supplies?" T-dog asked, still letting out occasional grunts of pain. Sweat was starting to form on his forehead.

"Yeah, he'll be back." At least she hoped. She wondered what would happen if Shane didn't return. It wasn't something she wanted to think about, but it was a real possibility.

"He's your husband, right?" Patricia asked as she began to cut the medical thread.

"Yeah." Alice replied, her voice low. T-dog tried to look as if he wasn't paying attention to the conversation, but Alice knew he was.

"He seems like a good man." T-dog snorted a laugh, but hushed when Alice glared at him.

That was the problem with meeting new people who didn't know about the past. Shane seemed like a good man, and for the most part he was. He wasn't a good husband though. But that was hard to explain to people who didn't know about his relationship with Lori.

* * *

"His pressure has dropped dangerously low. You have to make a decision." Hershel informed, urgency in his voice.

Rick looked at Lori, waiting for her answer. "Lori tell me what to do. You gotta make a decision."

"Do it." Her voice trembled and her eyes watered. It was a hard decision, but she had to make it. Originally she had thought it was a blessing this happened to Carl. If he didn't make it, he would be spared seeing more death and carnage. This world wasn't meant for children. Her mind had been made up until he awoke briefly and began to tell her about the deer he had seen.

She had silently pleaded with Rick to give her a good reason to want Carl to keep living in this world. His answer had surprised her. Rick told her that even though Carl had been shot and had seen more than a boy his age should, all he talked about was the deer when first waking. The negative things weren't what he focused on as Lori had been. He was thinking of life and the simplistic beauty certain things still held. At that moment Lori decided Carl needed to live. Any chance he could be given to life she would take.

Shane and Otis still had not returned and though worried, Carl was the main focus at the moment. Alice was dreading what was about to happen. They had nothing to put Carl under. He would feel everything and be awake for it. One wrong move from him struggling and he would be gone forever.

Lori watched Alice help prep Carl. She hadn't said a word to her since arriving on the farm. She was pretty sure Alice was still mad, but it was almost admirable that the blonde could put her anger aside long enough to help her son. That was the good thing about Alice. She loved Carl and no ill feelings towards either of his parents could stop her from helping him. She made a mental note to thank Alice no matter how this ended.

Hershel looked up from the boy and to his parents. "You may want to step outside." He knew what he was about to do would be too much for the parents to witness. He could only imagine how Rick would act after seeing how he got when Hershel had dug for a bullet shard.

This was no shard through. He was going to be cutting this boy open without anesthesia. Just as he was about to start, everyone stopped moving. They heard a car pulling up to the front of the house. There was an overwhelming feeling of hope that it was Otis and Shane. Everyone, save for Patricia and Carl, ran out of the room.

* * *

Shane stepped out of that car carefully. His ankle was throbbing and his whole body was sore. He spotted Rick and Lori first, then everyone else. He pulled the bags from the car and limped carefully over to the group. He noticed the confused look on Hershel's face.

"Where is Otis?" he asked. There was the dreaded question. He had mentally prepared himself for it the whole drive, but it wasn't enough when he was actually asked.

"He told me to go ahead. He said he'd be right behind me. I looked back and…" His eyes were wide, as if in deep shock. "He wasn't there."

The mood was somber and no one knew what to say. Shane looked down at the ground. He knew what really happened and though he had a good reason for his actions, he felt like a monster. He had done something he never thought he was capable of. The intent behind what he did was good, but he felt himself starting to become unhinged even more. Every move he made lately had good intentions behind it, but the results just kept blowing up in his face. Things kept happening that was forcing him to be someone he never imagined.

"No one tells Patricia until after the surgery. I need her. Come on Alice."

* * *

"You cut your hair." Alice noted, sitting across from Shane. Carl's surgery had been a success. Now it was up to his body from this point on.

"Yeah, needed a change." His eyes were glued to her face, taking in her delicate features.

Alice cleared her throat, shifting slightly in discomfort. "Looks good." His injured leg rested on her lap while her fingers wrapped his ankle. "You know the drill. Don't apply too much pressure on it."

"Got it." He let her lower his leg gently back to the floor. He bent down and unrolled the overall pant leg. For a moment, he was hit by a wave if guilt. The clothes that donned his body belonged to Otis. He shook his head. Now wasn't the time to think of what he did. "Can we talk Alice?"

"About?" she had helped him and was glad to see Shane, but that didn't change things between them.

"You know what. Alice, I don't know how many times I can say sorry. You gotta believe I didn't mean to hurt you." but he had. "I never felt for those women what I feel for you." Lori didn't count as one of those random women. "I love you." He really did.

Alice looked away from his pleading face and shook her head. 'Sorry' was being said way too much for her liking lately. "What do you want me to do with that confession of yours?"

"To say you'll give us another chance."

"Would be nice, huh?" She stood up from the chair and began to leave the room. Before exiting out the door, she paused and looked back at her husband. "Funny thing is at one point I would have been thrilled by your apology. I would have believed you and hung on every word. I don't care much nowadays. You're my husband and I can't erase our past, but things will never go back to the way they were. I couldn't live with myself if I let it."

He stood up and limped over to her. "If you just gave me a chance Alice, we can fix this." He placed his cool hand on her cheek.

Alice leaned into his touch for a moment. "You know I can't do that Shane." She mumbled before kissing his palm softly. She knew she was supposed to be angry with him, but it was hard to throw out seven years of memories they built together. "I gave you seven years' worth of chances. I couldn't forgive myself if I gave you another."

"If I left Alice, would that make you happy?" he suddenly asked, dropping his hand from her face to shoulder. "Would you be happy not to see my face anymore?"

Her brows furrowed together. "Are you planning on leaving?"

"Please, just answer me. Would you be better off if I just left?"

There was a moment of silence. Alice let out a soft sigh, taking a step away from him and his touch. "No. I think you should stay."

"Why should I stay Alice?" his tone was pleading, hoping for a certain answer.

"The group needs you."

"But do you need me?" He began to run a finger across her collarbone, slowly. His touch was so light, Alice questioned if he was even really touching her. He stepped closer to her body, her scent of sweat and an odd sweetness filled his nostrils. "I need you."

His voice was low and grew husky. He leaned his head down and placed a kiss on her forehead, testing the waters. When she didn't push him away, his slightly dry lips pressed against her cheek. Alice's eyes fluttered closed and her body trembled with an involuntary want to feel this man's touch. This was wrong, but why couldn't she pull away when he tilted her head to the side and kissed her neck? Why did she let him pull her body against his hard one?

Hearing a low growl erupt from Shane made Alice's eyes snap open and jerk away from him. He had tried to seduce her, and it almost worked.

"What's wrong with you Shane? Why do you think that's alright?" she ran a frustrated hand through her messy hair. "Do you expect me to jump into your arms, say I can't live without you here, let you screw me, and that be the end to all our problems?" She kept a brave face, but her erratic heartbeat gave away how she really felt.

"No." He replied, his voice still low. "I don't, but I need to know if you want me here. I'll leave if you don't Alice."

He reached for her again, but this time she smacked his hand away. "I don't need you here. I want you here. Not because I'm in love with you." She clarified. "We have years together that I can't erase and they still mean something to me. It doesn't matter what's going on with the world. You're still my husband and I do still care about you. I'm not in love with you. Don't ask me to tell you that or try to convince me that I do. And don't try and seduce me either."

Met by silence from Shane, Alice shook her head softly before leaving the room. She needed to get away from him. It was so easy to hate him when they weren't having civil conversation and he wasn't that close to her. He had risked his life to save Carl and he could have died along with Otis. She wasn't sure how she would have felt if he died, but it wasn't enough to make her give him another chance. Of course she still loved him and she wouldn't be able to drop him over night, but denying him another chance was a small step in the right direction.

Shane sat back down and rested his head in the palms of his hands. Alice hadn't said what he wanted to hear exactly, but he would accept it. She didn't need him there, but wanting him there meant more. He was sure she wouldn't allow him to fix what he did, but knowing she still had a place in her heart for him would be enough for now. If Lori felt the same way, he would stay. He wouldn't stay where he wasn't wanted. Those two women held more weight on his decision whether to stay or not than he wanted to admit. He loved them both in different ways. They both provided something different for him that made it hard to let either go, but if both wanted him to disappear, he would.

* * *

Shane stared up at a spot on the ceiling, his arms resting behind his head against the pillow. Hershel had given them permission to sleep in the house that night considering they didn't have their camping gear and it had been a rough day. Maggie had offered to share her room with Alice, and not much to Shane's surprise, his wife accepted.

He hated laying in this bed in this house. Otis stayed in this house. Through the thin walls Shane heard soft sobs. The guilt was eating at him more with every sniffle he heard Patricia let out. He was wearing that man's clothes, hearing that man's wife cry and he had to lie about what happened. It had to be done though. Carl was alive, so that made it worth it, right? The look on Lori's face when Hershel told them Carl was still alive had been one he was glad to witness. It was because of what he did that Carl got a second chance and Lori got to keep her son alive. Perhaps he also did it because he wanted some sort of redemption with Rick. Saving his son would be like a silent apology for fucking his wife and not being able to let his feelings go for the woman. It would be his way to show Lori that he did care, they weren't just words to get her to love him back. He risked his life for Carl.

Otis had to die so Shane could live. He had to live to show Rick and Lori both that he was sorry and really did care about their family. Lori said she wanted Shane to stay. He heard what he had been longing to hear and at that moment it didn't matter if it was said because she was grateful for what he did for Carl or because she loved him. Lori and Alice wanted him to stay. Did it have to do with Otis being dead and the reality that he too could have died that night?

Why did he feel like a piece of shit even though what he did was a necessary evil? That man, Otis, had Shane's back. He was the one that volunteered to show Shane where the high school was, but he also had been the one slowing them down. It was Otis or Shane. One of them had to go so Carl could get what he needed.

The one to be sacrificed had to be Otis. Shane tried to reason with himself that it wasn't his fault that it didn't occur to Otis to use him as walker bait first. Maybe it did, but Otis didn't act on it because he felt they both could make it out. What did it even matter anymore? Otis was dead now, Shane made it back, and Carl got to live. Never did Shane think he had it in him to do such an act of heartlessness, but times and circumstances were different. If him throwing an innocent man to the wolves was what it took to come back alive, so be it.

But the guilt was still there. The reasoning made sense to Shane, but the shame was still there. Tomorrow would be a funeral for Otis. Naturally, he had to attend. He tried to get out of it, knowing how wrong it was to go to the man he killed funeral, but Patricia had insisted before she went to bed. She had said he was the last to see Otis alive, he was last to witness the heroic deed her husband had done to save a child.

Heroic. That was the word she used. Otis died a hero in their eyes. Shane would let them keep thinking that. They didn't need to know that Shane shot Otis, leaving him handicap. They didn't need to know the look of shock and fear that filled the older man's eyes as Shane tried to wrestle the medical supplies from him. No one needed to know how hard Otis fought to live or at least bring Shane down with him. The screams of pain and sounds of flesh being ripped from bone would remain only with Shane.

Because Otis died a hero.

* * *

Dale stepped out of the RV and looked around. The farm was a sight to see. There were animals roaming and compared to what was going on outside the farm, this place was like paradise. It was peaceful and the people on it looked nice enough. He spotted Lori and Rick and noticed neither looked too tense. He could only assume Carl was fine. Then there was Alice. He saw her smiling at him kindly. It was nice to have one blonde that didn't roll her eyes at the mere site of him.

"How is Carl?"

"He's fine." Lori answered, getting chocked up. "He's gonna be alright."

"That's great news." Dale spoke as he hugged Rick. "Did T-dog make it with Glenn?"

Alice gave a nod, her hands tucked in her pant pockets. "Yeah, T-dog slept in and Glenn's somewhere around here." Her smile turned into one that taunted a person with unknown knowledge. Dale knew instantly that Alice had an idea where Glenn was hiding. "There's a funeral later today."

"What happened?" Dale asked, almost afraid the answer would have something to do with Sophia.

"A man died last night. He was part of their group. Otis was his name. He went with Shane to get some supplies so Carl could get the operation he needed."

"And how is Shane?"

"He's alright. Just twisted his ankle real good."

Dale nodded his head, but remained quiet. It didn't sit well with him that a man that had been with Shane died. He had gotten a glimpse of what Shane was capable of. Though he didn't pull the trigger on Rick, the fact that the thought even occurred to Shane put Dale on high alert with the former deputy. Now a man was dead. Maybe things did just go south and this Otis couldn't keep up. That was a high possibility and had Otis been with anyone other than Shane, he would have believed it.

* * *

"Carl woke up and asked about Sophia." Rick adjusted his sheriffs hat, shielding the bright sun light from his eyes the best he could.

"What did you tell him?" Alice tugged down the bottom of the tank top she had been lent. It was a little small on her, showing more of her taut tummy than she felt comfortable with. The shirt belonged to another Greene daughter named Beth, half-sister to Maggie. Maggie had lent it to her, telling her it probably wouldn't be good for anyone's psyche to see Alice walking around with blood on her clothes.

"I told him we found her."

The pair sat on the steps of Hershel's house, leaving a good amount of space between them. Neither had brought the kiss back up, but it still felt too soon to be close to each other. "You feel bad cause you lied?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah. I did it so he would relax, you know? But I still feel bad."

"Don't. You did what you thought was best at the time."

"A lot of the things I do in the heat of the moment backfire on me Alice."

They both understood the double meaning to his words. It was nice to be able to talk to Alice again, but he still felt tension between them. He silently wondered if things would ever go back to how it used to be.

"How's Lori doing?" she asked, needing to change the topic. Not that Lori was someone she really wanted to talk about.

"She's better now that Carl's fine." Carl was better and Lori went back to treating him how she had before their son was shot. "I um wanna ask you something Alice."

"What?"

"What happened between you two? Ya'll used to giggle like school girls together. I haven't seen you two together much."

"Sometimes it's better not to know everything that's going on Rick." She stood up and glanced down at him. "I'm gonna go see if anyone needs help."

Rick shot up from his seat and grabbed her elbow. She jerked back slightly, her back hitting his broad chest. "Alice, talk to me." He pleaded softly, his warm breath hitting the back of her head. Alice could feel her heart beating erratically in her ribcage from being so close to him. He smelled lightly of sweat and the trees that surrounded the outskirts of the farm. It was hard for her not to notice how hard his abdominal felt against the smalls of her back.

"About what Rick?" she tried to will her legs to move, but they were traitors, refusing to walk.

"About what's bothering you. I know I fucked up that night, but you can't keep punishing me. I have no right to ask you to ignore what I did, but damn it, tell me what I gotta do to make things right. I keep apologizing."

A tingle went down her spine, when his hands took a hold of her upper arms to keep her from fleeing. "I don't want your apology."

He moistened his lips before speaking again. "You keep telling me what you don't want, never what you do."

"I don't know." There was a pregnant pause, neither knowing what to say. Alice began to wonder if he knew what such close contact was doing to her. They shouldn't have been this close to one another, especially in front of Hershel's house. Her brain screamed for her to pull away before things got dangerous, but her body told her she was already gone.

She carefully pulled away from Rick, causing his arms to drop to his sides. He was about to give up until he saw she had turned to face her. He was confused by the look on her face. It was one he had never seen on her.

Alice took a deep breath. Her mind was telling her this couldn't happen, it would only make things worse, but her hand still reached up and caressed his cheek. Rick didn't move, curious as to what her next move would be. He let his eyes flutter for a moment under her soft touch.

This was bad. They shouldn't have been doing this. Lori and Shane were inside the house and at any moment, either one could come outside. They both knew better, but when Alice stood on her toes and her eyes slowly closed, all common sense was out the door.

Her lips pressed against his softly and for a moment she feared she screwed up bad when he stood motionless, but then his lips began to move against hers. Trapping her bottom lip between his, Rick applied more pressure. His arms snaked around her waist and pulled her body close, her toes almost dangling off the ground. It felt surreal when she wrapped her arms around his neck and tilted her head to deepen the kiss. Alice let out the softest, sweetest sigh Rick had ever heard when his tongue lightly licked her lower lips. Without hesitation, her lips parted, letting him in. Their tongues waltzed together as if they had done this dance before. She tasted like juicy apples. Alice arched her back, forcing her body more into Rick's. His head changed angles, letting him explorer her mouth in a new way.

Slowly, unwillingly, the two parted. With heavy breaths, they looked at each other for a moment before breaking apart. Alice looked down at her shoes, unsure of what to say. It was easier to react when alcohol was in both of their systems.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled. What had she done? Her body yearned for his lips to press against hers again.

Rick ran his hand through his hair, and tugged on the roots for a moment. "Don't… Alice I… Fuck…"

"I shouldn't have done that. It was stupid and I know better. I don't know what I would have done if someone walked out and-"

"It's fine." Rick spoke, cutting her off. "I need… A walk." He began to walk away from the house, but noticed he was alone. Looking over his shoulder he called out to Alice. "Are you coming? We should talk."

"I… Ok." She scampered behind him, making sure not to walk too close.

* * *

"What did I just see?"

"Something interesting." Maggie joked, leaning against the window frame.

Glenn's brows furrowed as he took a step back from the dark haired woman. "That isn't funny."

"Made me laugh."

"This is serious. Those two…" Glenn looked around the room quickly. "They're married to other people."

"What's your point? Just cause you're married, don't make you happy."

"Should I like… Say something?"

"No." Maggie replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Stay out of their mess. You said they all knew each other before the outbreak, right?" Glenn nodded. "Well, leave it alone. You don't know their history."

"Stay out of their mess, huh?" He had a feeling that was going to be easier said than done.

* * *

A/N: So, I would say I haven't updated because I've been lazy but hahaha! That wasn't the reason this time! I actually am so behind because I had to rework a lot of things to make that little Rick/Alice moment happen sooner than I originally had it set for. And thanks to x XRoweenaJAugustineX x and a few others for throwing subliminal about how long it was taking, I figured eh, what the hell, whhhhyy not?** RICK NEED LOVE TOO DAMNIT!**

x XRoweenaJAugustineX x: lol you know, I never noticed Carl being safer when he goes on his own, but its true! And I am too damn happy to finally take this story to season two when it gets all juicy and soap opera-ish. I loves the drama! Annnnd I hope this chapter, with its little action, was good to you though. It will only get saucy-errrrr lol

Dean's Dirty Little Secert: I read the first chapter to Journey Homewards and whaaaat?! I should be praising you like crazy and I'm saying this after reading one part! I am looking forward to reading the rest but geez some Rick and Daryl action with an OC is a dream come true lol

Leyshla Gisel: I've missed you too! But I'm back now and inspired so no more missing anyone! I'm excited to see what you think of this chapter though =)

bluecrush611: To be honest, I debated on how to handle Shane's crazy self once he got back and if Alice should calm or add to the crazy... I think she should add to it.

deelove1: I was just too excited to see how the 'new' Alice would handle the crazy Shane. That's what I'm most excited for you guys to read!

Sharpie-Marker1101: *blushes* You're too kind! I'm glad Alice is growing on you though! Lol I knooooow, but Alice can't be too mean to Shane... Yet. Psssh the way Rick handles a lot of things pisses me off lol

The-Originals-Rock: I've always tried to like Lori, really I have. But geez... She makes herself so unlikable all on her own!

samasbananas: I knoooow but hey, at least Rick and Alice finally made progress... Finally lol Hmm tell you what, if you're still interested in Alice/Daryl, I'll write a oneshot for it

: I hope you like this part, I know how much it was killing me and everyone else that it was taking sooo friggen long for something to happen between them!

JadedTinks, Straight Edge Queen, anparker09, AthenaB: Thank you for reading! I finally updated and don't worry, Alice and Rick are only going to get better from this point on =)


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own TWD.

* * *

The silence was almost unbearable for Alice. Rick hadn't said a word the whole walk, and his face was unreadable. For all she knew, he wanted her alone, where there were no witnesses, to strangle her for kissing him. Rick came to a stop by the barn. Alice had found it strange that the door was padlocked shut, but decided it was the least important thing at that moment.

She let out a loud sigh, her fingertips nervously digging into the sides of her thighs. He didn't speak, he just looked down at her. She took a deep, shaky breath, figuring she would have to say something first.

"Look, I shouldn't have done that back there and if you don't want to talk to me ever that's fine-"

"What do you want me to do Alice?" he questioned, cutting off her rambling.

"What?" her brows crinkled in confusion.

"What do you want me to do?" the volume of his voice dropped. "I kiss you at the CDC, you give me the cold shoulder and avoid me. Then you kiss me and start apologizing and offering to never speak to me again." He threw his hands in the air. "You're confusing me. What do you want me to do? Stay away from you?"

"No… I don't want that." She replied, her voice small. Her toes dug into the soles of her sneakers.

"Then what Alice? What do you want from me?"

"You can't give me what I want."

"Tell me." He urged. She looked into his eyes. Those beautiful eyes that could leave her breathless and irritated at the same time. There was no point pretending anymore.

"You." She softly replied, finding her eyes unable to meet his any longer.

"Me?" Rick lightly patted his chest, surprised by her answer.

"I told you that you couldn't give me what I wanted." Her gaze dropped to the ground. Her face felt hot from the impending rejection she was sure was coming. The dirt on her sneakers was suddenly the most fascinating thing ever. Maybe she still had time to run really fast to the house, lock herself in the bathroom and just live there forever- Maggie could perhaps slide her crush potato chips under the door as food.

"I want you too." Alice's eyes snapped back up. "At the CDC, that night I wasn't drunk Alice. I knew what I was doing." He boldly moved closer to her, and placed a calloused hand on her cheek. "I haven't stopped thinking about you or the kiss since then."

Her mouth opened and closed then opened again. She was sure the site was comic. "You weren't drunk?" was all she managed to get out.

Rick's lips formed a small smile, amused by how flustered she was. "No."

His eyes drifted down to her lips for a moment before he leaned down and captured them with his own. It was the third time they had shared a kiss, and yet Rick couldn't help but notice it was one of the most pleasant things he had ever experienced. There was a certain un-sureness behind her kisses that he found charming almost. As she kissed him back, mimicking his movements, he knew her hesitancy did not come from doubting how she felt for him. It came from her limited experience with the opposite sex.

His hand lightly caressed the nape of her neck, drawing her closer, and his other hand resting on her hip. Her shaky hands crept up his chest and rested on his shoulders.

Rick felt Alice press her thigh against his crotch, unaware of what the extra pressure was stirring in him. His fingertips slid from her hip and pressed into her lower back. Alice unwillingly pressed her small body more into his, wanting to feel his physique against hers. His fingers inched down until they were on her bottom. When she didn't push his hand away, he gave it a squeeze. For the first time ever, he realized she had a rather firm bottom.

Alice let out another moan when Rick's lips broke from hers and trailed down her neck. Her head rolled to the side, giving him more access to her sweet spot. For a moment, her body grew tense when she felt Rick's forming erection hard against her thigh. Feeling a change, Rick started to pull back, ready to let out a string of 'sorry's, but Alice quickly recaptured his lips before he could speak.

Alice's body felt hot and it had nothing to do with the weather. It seemed delectably erotic to feel his excitement pressed against her, making her tingle from her stomach down. Feeling daring, she pressed her lower body into his and swayed her hips from right to left. When she heard him take in a sharp breath through his nose, she bit down softly on his lower lip.

She began sucking on his lower lip softly, earning a satisfied grunt. She released it and slowly traced her tongue across his lips before he allowed her into his mouth. The tip of her tongue danced around his, echoing his practiced movements. The motion of their lips grew faster and hotter.

Catching her by surprise, Rick grasped her hips with one hand and her thigh with another. Effortlessly, he hoisted her up and wrapped her legs around his hips. Without separating from their moist kiss, he leaned her body against the barn wall.

His hand crept up her top, fingertips gently gliding over the soft skin of her stomach. Her tongue retreated to her mouth and she began to place lazy, lusty, kisses from the corner of his mouth, to his cheek, to his jaw.

His lips quickly found a place on her neck, placing feverous kisses along the side and voyaged further down. Leaning her head against the barn wall and closing her eyes, she reveled in the sensation of his lips kissing the exposed skin of her neck and chest, his hand lightly kneading under the leg he was holding.

Rick let out a light sigh when he felt Alice's fingers running through his hair and her legs wrapped tighter around him. The pit of his stomach felt like it was on the verge of exploding. He knew he would never be satisfied pretending nothing was between them again. The hand beneath her shirt skimmed the bottom of her bra. Oh, how he wished she hadn't worn that thing. His fingers pushed under the material, so close to his goal.

"Rick." She called, her voice husky in the most desirable way. "Not here." She hadn't wanted him to stop, but against the wall of the barn during daylight didn't seem like the smartest move.

Rick rested his damp forehead against her shoulder. He could hear her shallow breathing. "You're right." He regretfully mumbled.

"So, what do we do?" she asked hesitantly as he placed her back on her feet, but kept a hand on her hip. Her warm breath tickled his lips as she spoke.

"I have no idea. But we'll figure it out Alice. I don't want to go back to how it was."

For the first time in a while, Alice smiled at him, her fingers twirling the hairs on the back on his neck. "Me either."

* * *

Lori knew something wasn't right. She felt it in her gut. She was never much of a prayer, but that was all she could do that past few days since she got that feeling. She desperately wanted someone to confide in, but the only person she felt safe talking to wouldn't even look at her. It took a lot for her to admit she had screwed up big time and was paying for it. She had wished that her gut was wrong, but it never was.

How would she even begin to explain things to Rick? She loved him, that much she couldn't deny, but the built up resentment towards him wouldn't die. Even as they watched over their recovering son, she couldn't help but feel like it was somehow Ricks fault. Everything was always somehow Rick's fault. They had joined together when their son needed them, but now Carl was fine and things were back to normal. She wanted to love Rick like she used to, but it was hard.

Absentmindedly, Lori's hand rested on her flat stomach. If she was right about her feeling, the questions she had to answer would be difficult. She'd have to admit she didn't know how it happened or by who. The timing only pointed to one person, but there was still a chance she was mistaken about that. Her gut told her she wasn't wrong about that either though.

* * *

Maggie wore a beaming smile as she walked over to Alice. For some reason, a good majority of the time Maggie smiled. At what, Alice had no idea.

Maggie Greene was a pretty girl, and in Alice's opinion, had the most stunning eyes. They were a gorgeous shade of hazel that dared you to find flaw in them. She had to be in her early twenties, and judging by her lean body, she was no stranger to physical work. Her brown hair just hit her jaw line but matched up perfectly with her tomboyish attitude. The one thing Alice had to admit she envied about the younger woman was her rack. They were perfectly round, not too big, not too small. They were just right. She looked nothing like her half-sister, Beth. Her attitude was the complete opposite as well. Beth was soft spoken, a blonde, and definitely more religious than her older sister.

It made perfect sense to Alice when she realized Glenn had a crush on Maggie. She was far from ugly and seemed to balance his nervous personality. Not to mention she wasn't a bitch like Andrea had been acting like and Carol was too old for him. Being legal and single, it just worked out by default really.

Maggie had noticed Alice sitting by herself on the steps in front of the Greene's house. Alice kept to herself for the most part. It hadn't gone unnoticed to Maggie that Alice only spoke to Carol out of all the females in their little group. At first, she had found it strange she spoke to Rick and cared for Carl, but avoided Lori like the plague. It all made sense after watching her slop down Rick. She knew she'd like Alice from that point on.

Shane creeped her out though. Something was off about him and Lori certainly wasn't going to be wife of the year. She didn't know their story, but she had pieced together enough from hints Glenn dropped and things she saw. Shane slept with Lori, now Alice was getting some payback with that deputy Rick.

"Hey." Maggie greeted, sitting beside Alice. "I'm gonna head to the pharmacy to go restock on some meds, you need anything?"

"Nah, I think I'm alright. You going with Glenn?" Alice asked, shooting Maggie a knowing smile.

"Yeah." Her smile seemed to grow wider. "He's tagging along."

Alice shielded her face from the sun with her hand as she looked at the woman. "Actually I do need something before you go." Her face began to flush slightly. "But I hope you already have it."

"What do you need?"

"It's um… Well it's that time of the month." She shyly informed.

"Oh, I see." Maggie gave her an understanding smile. "Third draw in the bathroom."

"You're a life saver."

"I do what I can." Maggie paused for a moment, a mischievous smile creeping onto her lips. "So uh you sure you don't need anything? Shampoo, lotion, condoms, soap?"

"C-condoms?!" Alice repeated, her eyes wider than saucers. "What in the world would I need that for?!"

"I don't know. You and Rick might need them soon." Maggie's voice was low, but that damn smile remained.

"What are you talking about?" Alice asked, her face and neck feeling hot all of a sudden. She tried to keep her voice even, but she knew it was a pitch higher.

"I know your secret." Maggie sang, nudging Alice in the rib with her elbow.

"Stop doing that." She pushed her elbow down gently. "What are you going on about?" Alice was growing more nervous. She and Rick didn't want anyone to know about them… Whatever they were.

"Oh, don't worry, I won't tell. I saw you lay one on him in front of the house." She bit her lower lip and wiggled her eyebrows. "Wouldn't want you to not be safe, now would we?"

Alice covered her face with her hands and let out a muffled: "Oh God." She wasn't sure which was more embarrassing: Maggie knowing, or having the twenty-something year old tell her about safe sex.

"Hey, I said I wouldn't tell. Rick isn't bad. He's really handsome with that beard of his."

"Maggie, please promise you won't tell." Alice pleaded.

"I like you Alice. I won't tell. But I'll grab some condoms for you anyway. I'm just gonna guess what size he needs. Pray I'm right, cause if I'm not, no loving for you!" Maggie said while laughing lightly before walking away quickly.

"What have I gotten myself into?" Alice mumbled to herself, watching Maggie walk up to Glenn. Her gut told her Maggie would keep her secret, but just how long did things need to stay one?

* * *

"How you feeling cowboy?" Alice asked, lowering herself into the seat beside Carl's bed. He was finally staying awake and able to have full conversations.

"Alright. A little sore." He replied. "Do you like my hat?" his lips were turned up in a grin.

Alice arched an eyebrow as she grabbed the sheriff hat Carl held out to her. "I sure do. But it looks mighty familiar."

"I'm not a little kid any more Aunt Alice. You know it's dads."

"I forget how big you are sometimes." She let out a soft chuckle as her mind started to recall his more youthful days.

"What's funny?"

"I'm just remembering something you did when you were five."

"Tell me." Rick had started to enter the room, but stopped when he heard his son and Alice talking. He felt a little guilty as he pressed against the wall, hidden from their site.

"Your mom and dad let Shane and I watch you. That day you were a big old ball of energy. We thought you were taking a nap and were so exhausted ourselves that we laid down. Next thing you know, we hear a crashing sound in the kitchen. We rushed down stairs and there you were on the kitchen floor." She started to smile, leaning forward and pushing the child's hair back from his site. "You were covered in flour and munching on a cookie. Shane asked you what happened and you know what you said?"

"What did I say?" Carl asked, amused by his childhood antics.

"You said you wanted a cookie so you climbed onto the counter, but there were too many pots in the way. You pushed them down, grabbed the wrong jar and got flour all over you. You still wanted the cookie so you looked in the jar next to it and found them. You were so much trouble when you were little, but we loved looking after you."

"Aunt Alice?" Carl's brows furrowed in curiosity. "Why didn't you and Shane ever have kids?"

Rick rubbed his face roughly, prepared to interrupt what he knew was an awkward moment. Leave it to a child to not understand the sensitivity of certain questions.

"It just wasn't the right time." She answered, offering no deeper explanation. "Get some rest cowboy." She placed Rick's hat back on Carl's head. It still amazed her from time to time how strongly he resembled his father. With those striking blue eyes, Carl was destined to break some hearts.

She stepped out of the room, her hand trembling slightly. She hadn't expected Carl to ask her such a question. It had left her almost as speechless as the time he asked where baby's came from. That boy was always too curious for his own good, but that was a quality she adored about him.

"Hey Alice." She stopped walking and turned to the voice. Rick stood leaned against the wall beside Carl's door. She wondered how she had managed to walk past him.

"Hey Rick. Ease dropping?" she asked, playfully punching his shoulder. He let out a soft laugh.

"Something like that. Look," he took a few steps towards her. "I'm sorry about him asking that. You know how he is."

"It's alright. He's just curious. Are you going to check on him?"

"Actually I was looking for you. Take a walk with me." Before she could reply, he was leading the way out of the house.

* * *

A/N: As usual, thank to everyone who added this to their alerts, favs, and reviewed. You guys should know I'm grateful for all my readers. It's not easy to post your writing, your baby, for the world to judge. But you guys have been nice, and I can't thank you enough for encouraging me as well as giving good criticism and feedback.

Alice and Rick sure like walking, huh? When I first wrote their kissy moment, it wasn't all that, but at the time I thought it was good. While editing a month back, I was like 'this is kind of bland. If I had the hots for a guy for a while and finally knew he felt the same... I think I'd get the most out of the kiss'. I really hope it wasn't too much, but I figure they suffered enough, they're finally honest... But they can't have sex. Next best thing? Lot's o' kissy kissy to make up for lost time.

So, we all know what happens soon in the show. Soooo how will Alice and Rick work through it? Oh-ho let's not forget Shane. He's going bat-shit-crazy and I'm sure he won't like that Alice has moved on. How will he react? Only one way to find out! Dun-dun-duuuuun!

As for the** 'crushed potato chips under the door'**, I hope some of you picked up what movie that's from. I say it a lot whenever I talk about how my friends would treat me if they kidnap me... For some reason I always come up with different scenarios, but the crushed potato chips always remain! Point is, I quote the movie that's from... A lot... Ugh, I should go watch it now. Can you tell I am unable to have normal conversations?

**Scarlet Meadowes**: lol I do hope you keep liking it. It's gonna get juicy! I describe thing's as juicy a lot... Sorry 'bout that lol

bluecrush611: Thank you! lol sadly it can't be my birthday everyday (though thinking off all the gift's I'd get...) But I'm glad you liked it!

**deelove1**: I think Shane would stay just because one woman would be alright with him staying. I think in his mind it gives him hope things will work for him.

JadedTinks: *sniffle* I'm so proud that Alice finally has a back bone too! They grow so fast lol

**x XRoweenaJAugustineX x**: I love you over analyzing lol I can't even lie, I was reading your review and when I read the part about Shane not being able to pick up on Alice's emotional needs, I was like whoa... Did not pick up on that! When I wrote that, all I was thinking was 'oh Shane just likes to stick it places it don't belong, and it don't belong in Alice'. I kind of had to bow my head in shame after your review. Heh I have to start Rick off all sweet cause it's about to get dirty! Have you been watching the new season of GOT? Oh lawwwd! I was watching it last sunday and thought of your stories. I was like 'hmm I wonder what that mastermind will do with all of this'.**  
**

Leyshla Gisel: I thought of them following in Shane/Lori's footsteps and doing the nasty while on a 'walk', but I don't know, felt too soon since Ricks still clueless about Lori and Shane. Plus, he seems like the kind of guy to almost get you naked, but then have his morals kick in then be like 'I... I'm sorry... You have seen my amazing naked body and you are now lusting beyond reason... But this isn't right. I must go!'. I love that Glenn can't keep a major secret, it's cute to see him almost have a panic attack.

**AthenaB**: Thank you so much! I know their walk was only a little spicy, but I hope it was still good =)

Dean's Dirty Little Secert: I'd be super hurt if you took a break and didn't update! You can't get people all into your story then say the word 'break'. It's heart breaking lol but seriously, you gotta update ASAP cause the way the last chapter ended... Ugh Getting to kiss both of the hot men back to back. Mara makes me jealous

**anparker0**9: That's why I loved Shane's character for Alice. He's so... selfish and I love it! But maybe he and Lori will get rude awakenings

Sharpie-Marker1101: Glenn gotta snitch lol He'll panic if he doesn't, but it's too cute to watch him sweat! And I wasn't thinking of anyone punching anyone, but you know, I don't think it's a bad idea lol punching jerks in the face is good for the soul I've heard.

**Happy Face J**: Why thank you =) It always makes my day to see people like this!

samasbananas: I make request happen lol!


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: It's been a while, yes? I assure you I absolutely do not have a good reason for my absence at all. But thank you to** Moonflower04 **for helping to remind me why I had to keep writing this. I had a vision for how I wanted this story to go. Well, at some point I realize it wasn't going that way any more. So some rewriting had to be done. Annnnnd here are the final results!

Disclaimer: I do not own TWD or any of its characters. This is just for fun. I'm poor so don't sue!

* * *

"So, what's up?" Alice asked, her fingers fidgeting with the belt loops of her pants. The further they got from the house, the tighter her chest seemed to get. Rick's sudden silence was not sitting well with her. He said he wanted to talk in private. She had assumed it was an excuse for them to sneak off and make out like teenagers. But the whole walk, his expression had been serious. A serious Rick was never a good Rick.

"I want your opinion." They came to a stop behind an old shack that housed the generator Hershel used to power the house. "Do you think Sophia is alive?" Rick stood a few feet away from her. Odd.

She blinked in confusion. He brought her out here to ask her that?

Her brows furrowed for a moment. "I don't know what I think." She admitted, shaking her head lightly. "I hope she's still alive, but it's hard. We all know how dangerous it is out there. There's still a chance she is though, and until we know otherwise, I won't believe she's dead and give up."

"Should we… Should I call it quits?" He nervously rubbed the back of his neck, feeling how tightly the muscles were coiled.

"What? Do you want to give up?"

"Carl and Sophia are the only ones keeping us on this farm." He began to explain. "Hershel wants us to go as soon as Carl is better or we find her. Our people are hopeful that we can stay here, I see it." Rick paused, taking a deep breath through his nose. "If it were Carl missing, I'd never want to stop looking. It's easy to keep searching cause we have a base now, but what do I do when Hershel wants us gone and we haven't found her?"

"I know you blame yourself for not finding her." He silently agreed with her. "I also know that you want to bring her back home to her mother. I think you should search more. If I were Carol, I'd want to know whether my daughter was alive or not. Nothing is worse than never knowing for sure."

There was no way to know for sure if Sophia was alive, but every night before bed, Alice would pray. She prayed that the little girl with the abusive father had somehow found a way to survive. It was tough to survive, but not impossible. If she could survive Ed, she deserved to live through this nightmare of a life they all shared. Alice didn't know if Sophia was alive, but she had faith that the girl was because God always protects children and fools.

"We're going to search tomorrow. I want you to come. The more people the better."

"Sure." She agreed without hesitation before her mind drifted back to Sophia.

Rick lips rubbed together as he looked at her. Her hair was in its usual messy ponytail, but he did notice her hair had grown some. Caught up in her own thoughts, she hadn't realized a pair of cobalt eyes analyzing her. He watched the corner of her mouth twitch, always an indicator when she was in deep thought. He realized she looked more mature than he had recalled her ever looking. Her face was slimmer, almost gaunt. Her high cheekbones stood out and her eyes looked wider. A very light ring of violet made a home under her eyes, making them seem oddly bluer. His eyes drifted down, noticing both her protruding collar and hip bones through her shirt. Alice had never been supermodel skinny. She was better described as being at a healthy weight. It was odd to be able to make out her bones for the first time ever.

By no means did her haggard appearance make her less attractive in his eyes, but it did give away that she, like everyone in their group, was not sleeping easy or eating well.

He cleared his throat, bring her attention back to him. Her eyebrows shot up when she realized she had zoned out. Rick gave her a half smile as he reassuringly pat on the shoulder.

Alice's brows crinkled as she eyed the hand that touched her. Had she missed something? Rick kept a distance between them and now he was giving her friendly pats on the shoulder. Perhaps she was over-analyzing things since they were in a rather delicate situation, but they were alone. Completely alone. Why hadn't he made a move on her? A large part of her had expected him to sweep her into his arms and shower her with his intoxicatingly gentle kisses.

"Is something wrong?" she cautiously asked, placing her hand on his forearm in a comforting gesture.

"Should there be?"

"No." Alice quickly replied, her head shaking. "Not at all. But you're acting… I don't know, distant?"

"What do you mean?" He shot her a smile that made her feel like he was unintentionally mocking her observation. "I'm right here."

"That's not what I meant Rick." Her hand released him and dropped to her side.

There was a silence between the two as the generator softly buzzed in the background. Rick let out a hard sigh through his nose, rubbing his eyelids while he tried to gather his thoughts. He knew exactly what she meant, but he naively believed she'd let it go. Of course nothing was ever simple in his life.

"It's this thing Alice." He motioned between their bodies. "It's difficult, I don't even know what it is." The words had been harder to say than he thought they would be.

"This thing." She repeated, crossing her arms under her chest. "Last time we talking about 'this thing', you agreed that we'd figure it out and didn't want to go back to how things were."

"And I don't!" he quickly spoke. Taking a deep breath, he reasoned with himself that this was best for both of them. He didn't want to go back to being unable to kiss and hold her, but the bigger picture wouldn't allow that. "But we're not thinking Alice. We gotta think about Lori, Carl, and Shane. That day, God knows I meant everything I said. I do care about you, I have for years, but we can't just rush into things when we got other people to think about. This is bigger than the both of us Alice."

She nodded her head, feeling body start to tremble. She looked away from his intense eyes and focused hers on one of the horses that roamed free. "I told you that you couldn't give me what I wanted."

"But I want to."

"It doesn't matter what you want to do if you won't do it." Her eyes snapped back on him. She could barely make out any details of him through her suddenly blurry vision. "What made you change your mind?"

"I didn't change my mind-"

"What made you change your mind?" she repeated through clenched teeth.

"I… Things aren't good with Lori, but I know I love her." He weakly reasoned. "You love Shane-"

"Don't tell me who I love! You don't know anything!"

"I know that there's something between us!" he reached out for her, but retracted his had as if dodging a venomous snakebite when she glared at him. Her eyes were blazing. "I'm confused Alice." He finally admitted with an exasperated sigh, wishing she was more understanding. "Look, things are hard out here, you know that. We can't afford to cut ties because of an infatuation we have with each other."

Infatuation? Is that what he thought Alice's feelings were?

Of course Rick would look at them letting their feelings be known as 'cutting ties' with Lori and Shane. He was trying to be noble without knowing all the facts. She wondered if he'd be so rational if he knew the people he was trying to keep the peace with were the same ones who slept together the moment they thought he was dead. Feeling spiteful, she flirted with the idea of telling him.

That would be wrong though, no matter how furious she was with him at the moment. She suddenly felt like a mistress that wanted her lover to leave his wife like he kept promising. Like those women, she knew it would probably never happen, but still had hope.

"Just forget it." She mumbled, her anger fading and quickly replaced by sadness and self-pity. "I should have known better."

Breathing suddenly felt harder when he saw her eyes glazed over. "Please, don't let this ruin our friendship Alice. I still care about you." He wanted to badly to hold her and whisper to hell with Lori and Shane, they'd figure something out. "I always will."

This was the right thing to do. Alice made him happy and always managed to put his mind at ease, but that didn't make what they did or felt right. Every day he found himself questioning how he felt for Lori. She'd shrug off his attempts to make them work. She always seemed so distant, even when he held her at night. At those moments, his mind told him that Alice wouldn't do that. She'd let him hold her, she'd allow him to vent about his doubts and the stress of knowing their days on the farm were numbered.

But he must have loved Lori, because he always found himself striving to please her. He wanted her to beam with pride at her husband when he made decisions. However, most days he felt like he was chasing a ghost. Someone he didn't recognize or know how to reach replaced the Lori he remembered falling for. Before he had been shot, things were tense. They argued almost daily it seemed, but he knew he loved her then and she loved him. Now, they rarely argue and one would assume that was good, but something was off. He wasn't sure if he was in love with her anymore. He wasn't even sure if she was with him because she wanted to be.

He knew it had to do with Shane. He was positive something took place between the pair, but something in Rick wouldn't allow him to believe in it fully until he had solid proof. Until then, he would just believe he was being paranoid and something else had to have happened. Maybe they had a fall out of sorts, something that didn't involve his wife and best friend sleeping together.

Besides, if they had slept together, Alice would have told him. Judging by her changed attitude towards the pair, he knew she had information about what happened with Lori and Shane. Alice of all people would tell him if they had betrayed him in such a way.

"I'm gonna go see if Carol needs me to help with supper." Alice quietly spoke, bringing him from his musing.

"You don't have to go yet." He found himself seeming desperate for her to stay with him a little longer.

"No, I should go Rick. No point standing here."

"Alice, please don't let things go back to how they were when you wouldn't speak to me. I need you." He blurted out before he could stop himself.

Her face scrunched up, the blaze in her eyes returning. "You need me? I admit how I feel, you tell me you feel the same and we'll figure out how to make it work, then you casually tell me that we should just ignore those feelings because in the grand scheme of things, they just throw shit off! Fuck you Rick!" he took a step back, surprised by both her outburst and vulgarity. "You don't need me! You just want me to tell you you're doing a good job cause Lori gives you passive aggressive replies and Shane keeps questioning your judgment! I don't care if you convinced yourself that I'd just go with this and let you use me!"

"I'm not using you!" he shot back, offended.

"The fuck you aren't! We can't be together, but oh, you want me to forget how I feel and listen to you vent about how screwed up things are. You want me to pretend I still love Shane and that we're all one happy, screwed up couple. I don't love Shane, he knows it now and I'm not gonna pretend I do for you or anyone else so you won't feel bad about sneaking behind your poor wife's back with me."

"He knows it?" Rick asked, trying to take the attention off how right she had been.

"He wanted to get back together and figure things out. I don't want that, I can't go back to that. I don't need you or him trying to convince me that I'm better off with Shane."

"Alice, I just want what's best for you-"

"Then leave me alone!"

"W-what? Alice, I-"

"Do it! You want what's best for me, right? What's best for me isn't being around the man I want to be with. Just… Leave me alone Rick."

He felt helpless. Rick was finding it hard to swallow the saliva that had gathered in his mouth. His heart began to beat painfully hard against his ribcage as he watched her turn to leave. He had seen how her lips quivered as she spoke.

Without thinking, he grabbed her upper arm to still her. She tried to shake him off, but instead he spun her around and jerked her into an embrace.

He held her tighter when she began to fight against him. Her small fist began to beat on his chest as she hissed obscenities he hadn't even been aware she knew. Her blonde hair flew wildly around her as she fought, tickling his chin. All she wanted was for him to let her go, but he couldn't. He knew this was just making things more difficult than it had to be, but he couldn't let her walk away.

If she left, he knew it meant the end of everything, including their friendship. He felt so selfish for wanting her and wanting to keep the peace with everyone. He knew it wasn't possible. All he wanted was the comfort Alice's embrace provided him and the solace she her simple words gave his rampant mind.

This woman, this wild, thrashing, angry woman gave him peace when nothing else could. She gave him understanding when no one else did. He wanted to let her go, let her have her way because it was what she wanted. He couldn't though. It had seemed so easy in his mind to have this talk and let her go. It would have been the right thing to do to let her go while it was still early and feelings weren't as deep. He just couldn't though.

No, he didn't need Alice because she would listen to him bitch. He needed Alice because she made him feel like it was alright to just be a man, not some leader with the weight of the world on his shoulders. With her, he would forget that every day could be their last.

As Alice continued to demand he let her go and hit him, he realized that she had been what he needed and wanted all along. In a swift motion, he captured her lips with his, pressing hard against them. He felt a spark when he kissed her. It was like tiny bolts of electricity traveled from his lips and down his body, warming it with a tingling, electrifying sensation.

Feeling her thrashing end, Rick softened the pressure to her lips. At some point during her struggle, she had begun to cry in frustration. He gingerly caressed her wet cheek, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. He heard her hiccup back a sob, but she didn't pull away. Alice just kissed him harder, more frantically. Her fingers grasped the collar of his shirt tightly as she pressed her chest hard into his body. Rick's hands slid down her waist and rested firmly on her hips.

What they were doing felt so taboo, but still they kept their lips connected. Their kiss was growing more passionate, more heated with need. As Rick ran his tongue against her lower lip, he felt all rational thoughts start to slip his mind. When she opened her warm mouth to let him in, he couldn't even think coherently any more.

The tip of her tongue swirled around his, picking up the faint taste of mint. He felt her hands run down then back up his broad chest and her hips pressed into his body. He could feel the heat from her body. The excitement of having her lips against his with genuine desire, the way she was touching him with her curious hands, having her body flush against his. All of it was making him want more.

These weren't the hollow touches and kisses Lori gave, these were filled with passion and lust.

This wasn't fair, Rick wasn't fair. Alice suddenly pulled away, leaving a dazed looking Rick. She bit down on her lower lip as she put space between their bodies. Taking a step back, she wobbled slightly. For the first time ever, her legs felt like jelly over a silly kiss.

She wanted to keep going and take it as far as they could, but that would just serve to hurt her more. He didn't want her that way, he wanted to be friends.

He was sending mixed messages and she was done with it.

"We can't do this." She softly spoke, gaining Ricks full attention.

Rick's hand rested on top of his head, still recovering from their kiss. He was more confused than ever. He loved kissing her, he loved being with her, but he felt guilty. He had once again poured his passion into Alice behind Lori's back. He was at a loss over how to handle this. The right thing to do would be to apologize and tell her this couldn't happen again. But Rick wanted to throw caution to the wind and ravish her on the spot, then tell her they could be together.

"I don't know what to do Alice." He weakly admitted. "I wanna be with you, I do, but Lori's my wife and Shane's my best friend. If we do this, people will take sides. We can't afford to let that happen, especially if Hershel refuses to let us stay."

Alice wanted to storm off; she wanted to tell him to do whatever he wanted. But her feet were cemented to the ground and her lips refused to say what she knew she should.

"I don't want to pretend Rick. I can't do it." She hated how weak she sounded. Pathetic. She sounded too much like a pathetic mistress.

"I…" he pulled her into a tight hug, letting her hide her face against his chest. Kissing the top of her head, he knew what he had to do. This wasn't part of his plan, but maybe for once he could be selfish. "Just give me time Alice. That's all I'll ask of you. This isn't about me needing you to listen when I vent. I care about you more than I think you understand. Give me time and we'll do this. Me and you."

She looked up at his with her wide, innocent eyes. "Promise me Rick. If you can't, tell me now. I won't let you do this to me again. I swear I'll be done with you if you string me along." Was she willing to accept keeping things secret just to be with Rick for now? Yes. But she wouldn't if he didn't promise to make them happen. Rick Grimes never broke a promise and this she knew.

"I promise Alice." His voice was heavy with determination. He'd figure this out, they'd do the right thing by their respective partners, he and Alice would be fine in the end and together.

* * *

Lori bit back her tears as she lay beside Rick in their tent. Her lower lip began to tremble uncontrollably and silent tears slid down her cheeks. This wasn't supposed to happen. None of it was supposed to happen, but it had and it was her fault. She wanted to blame Rick or Shane, but really it was her doing. Rick had his back turned to her and his breathing was steady, signaling he was asleep. It was the first time in a while he wasn't holding her or laying close and she was almost grateful. She wasn't sure she could handle it if he had held her.

What was she going to do? Her heart and mind were battling each other and she was at a loss over how to handle the messy situation she and Shane had created. Her head rolled to the side and her watery eyes rested on the back of Ricks head.

He was a good man and had done nothing but try to do right by her. That was what drove her mad about him though. He was always trying to do right.

She wanted him to get angry with her, yell or something occasionally. But he never did. He was always calm, he always let her yell, throw things, say hurtful words, but he never snapped like she did. She felt twisted for a moment because she knew a majority of women would look at her like she was crazy. She had it good with Rick. Not a lot of women could say they had such an understanding husband that loved them unconditionally and always tried to make it work. Lori's mind drifted to Alice.

She had married a man that was good to her in the beginning but fell back into the bad habit of cheating. Shane even took it a step farther and slept with Lori while Alice was around. Now she was in deep shit and it was all because she just couldn't be happy that she had a man that loved her.

Lori knew the moment Shane kissed her that she was going to let him take it past that. As he pulled her shirt over her head and began to caress her warm skin, she knew what she was feeling. It was anger towards Rick for caring too much about doing the right thing. Had he just cut back his hours at work like she asked, he would have never been shot. But no, Rick Grimes just couldn't listen. He got himself shot and left her alone with their son.

She loved Rick, but she also hated him.

She had been with Shane out of spite towards Rick and in her selfishness, she forgot about Alice. Lori knew what Shane had put Alice through, but that didn't make her tell him to stop as he unbutton her jeans.

As his hips worked in rhythm with hers, all Lori could think about was how much she knew this would hurt Rick if he were alive. The thought gave her a sick satisfaction. Maybe if he had been alive he would finally yell, throw something, and shout hurtful words at her. But Rick really was alive and seeing him made an unexpected wave of guilt hit her each time he looked at her. Her satisfaction from sleeping with Shane was gone.

He'd searched for her and Carl. He had risked his life to get back to them and she had done the ultimate betrayal that was still hunting her. Shane gave her a way to hurt Rick, get a reaction she knew he would give if he knew. At the time, before finding out he was alive, she had wished he could know what happened between her and Shane.

It felt like she always came last in his life. And in her mind, because he could never just put her first, he got himself shot.

She had been angry at Rick all the times she lay with Shane. She was angry that he put his job before his family, infuriated that he got himself shot, but most of all she was hurt. She had been hurt that he 'died' and he was 'dead' due to his own faults. He left her alone and it was his fault because he always had to be the good guy.

In retrospect, it was stupid to blame Rick for something that was out of his hands. All he was truly guilty of was being a loving husband and father. She repaid him by giving him headaches and stress before he had been shot and sleeping with Shane not long after she thought he was dead. Now Shane was convinced she loved him and trying his hardest to knock Rick from the position as leader. A position Rick never asked for or wanted.

She inadvertently caused the tension between them. She didn't love Shane, that much she knew. He, however, was convinced that she needed some coxing to realize her feelings for him. Feelings she knew didn't exist.

This mess was her fault and now she had brought someone else who didn't deserve it into the picture. Lori's hand rested on her slightly curved stomach. All she could think about was what that little stick that told her what her gut had been for a while.

She was pregnant.

* * *

A/N: Lori's knocked up, Rick wants to be with Alice, Shane is... Just Shane. Let the real drama begin! I'm excited for you all to see what I have in store because I adore drama and well... It's about to get CRAZY! I got a few questions as to why Rick and Alice didn't hear movement of the walkers while in the barn. I thought of mentioning it, but 1. it would throw things off if they noticed too soon, 2. I figured making out isn't enough noise to get the walkers to let their presence be known.

As always, thank you to those who favored, followed, and reviewed. I apologize for the long wait, but I promise it won't happen again. I'm going back to my weekly updates. Thank you for the continued support! And I didn't personally thank reviewers this chapter because it's really, really late and I have work in a few hours.


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